A Slice of Life

oh the places you'll go .... so get on your way!

2012-02-03T21:23:00.005-06:00

Congratulations!
Today is your day!
You're off to great places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.'

You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets.

Look them over with care.

About some you'll say

"I don't wish to go there."

With your head full of brains,

And your shoes full of feet,

You're too smart to go down a not-so-good-street.

And you may not find any you'll want to go down.

In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there, in the wide open air.

Out there things happen, and frequently do,

To people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don't worry, don't stew.
Just go right along, you'll start happening too!
Oh the places you'll go!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers,
Who soar at high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't,
Because sometimes you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
But, sadly it's true
That bang-ups and hang-ups
Can happen to you.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race
Down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
And grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
Headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place… for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,
Or a plane to go or the mail to come
Or the rain to go or the phone to ring,
Or the snow to snow, or waiting around for a Yes or No
Or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite
Or waiting around for Friday night
Or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake, or a pot to boil,
or a Better Break or a string of pearls,
Or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or
Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.

On and on you will hike, And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up of course, as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
And remember that Life’s a great balancing act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

Will you succeed?
Yes you will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

Kid you'll move mountains
So... Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off to great places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So... Get on your way.

I was reminded of this spectacular book at Lexi's school program last night (which was adorable - all Dr. Suess songs and costumes), and had to come home and look it up. I'm astounded at how much truth resides in the words of this silly book. Not so silly, indeed ... 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed!

just a sliver

2011-10-14T16:24:00.000-05:00

I just had to laugh a bit ago. I will just say that the last week has been tough, and I've done nothing much more than move between my recliner and my bed. Disclaimer before you read further: My amazing husband absolutely CANNOT do anything more than take care of me when I feel like I have been, so please please do not think "well why didn't he do those dishes?" TRUST ME he is and incredible man and goes so far above and beyond for me!

Anyway, today I decided it was going to be mind over migraine for at least a little while. I went down to my kitchen to put SOMETHING on for dinner. I pulled out all the fixins for chili and threw it into a pot and gave it a stir. I rinsed the cans I'd opened and splashed tomatoes, etc, all over the walls, counters and toaster. I then tried to put them in the recycling bin which was stuffed so I emptied it. Of course the trash had to come next, but I banged my shin on the recycling bin door that I forgot to shut first. Then I opened the dishwasher to start unloading it, and found the iced tea pitcher, and thought, oh I should make iced tea! So I started the tea, and turned around to get the water and fell over the open dishwasher door. Oops, stir the chili, that was the point of all this right? Back to the dishes - dishwasher now empty - ooh tea is done brewing so I filled the pitcher and put it into the fridge, well wait I had to rearrange a bit and remove my lunch from MONDAY to make room first. Back at the sink, hang on, turn around and shut the refrigerator door, near miss on the cabinet door hanging open from putting away the plates, stir the chili, omgosh is that crockpot REALLY still sitting in the sink from the night before last? Yes, yes it is. Awesomely gross. Hey the answering machine light is blinking, when did that come in? Yesterday. Oh no, YESTERDAY! Yesterday was my dad's birthday and even though I remembered I didn't call him, stinkin' crud, good thing we're going out to dinner on Saturday. Stir the chili. Shut remaining doors and drawers. Wipe down the counters. Collapse back into recliner.
Maybe I'll try the laundry tomorrow.

lessons learned from a recliner

2011-09-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

Now that I'm regaining some semblance of normal (ha!) life, I figured I better chronicle some of the lessons I learned while I was out of commission. Sort of like building a verbal Old Testament altar, you know, so I won't forget? Some of these things are ongoing lessons, some are spiritual, some are logical, some are BFO's (Blinding Flash of the Obvious) ... but most I would not care to repeat learning unless necessary, if I'm being honest. I'm thankful for the lessons, and realize that I needed the circumstances I was given in order to learn them, but I would NOT have chosen those circumstances! It's a good thing God didn't give me the choice I guess. Then again, I sound like a big whiner to my own ears - my sad little uncomfortable summer is nothing compared to what so many people I know and love are experiencing.

These are in no particular order, and this is by no means a complete listing - my memory stinks WAAAY too bad for that to happen! But look at it this way, I will probably forget enough material for several more blog posts!

1) I don't care nearly as much as I used to whether my carpet is vacuumed when you come to see me. I'm just glad you're here.

2) My friends and family are great cooks! I have a whole new section of my cookbook thanks to the great meals they brought.

3) Receiving ... is hard. Doing it with genuine grace is even harder. Not being willing to receive, or not being able to do it graciously, robs the giver of joy, minimizes the love and care they want to show me, and is just plain prideful. Receiving doesn't make me weak. It doesn't make me a failure. It just means my burden is big enough that I need to share it, and I need to trust God to provide the meeters of my needs.

4) I set the bar really high for myself. Too high. Because my bar is perfection. That makes it sinfully high, honestly, because only God is perfect and the idea that I can even get close is quite simply sin. It took having that bar not just lowered but nailed to the floor for me to understand this and repent. There is a difference between excellence and perfection - God is perfection, and he wants my best effort - my excellence - but I need to leave the perfection to him. This is both the most important and most difficult lesson of the summer, and honestly, I am fearful that I will slide back into this lifelong way of behaving, thinking, "performing" without realizing it. This is the lesson that I am begging God to make permanent. Perfectionism robs me of so much and I've sacrificed much on its altar - do you see with me how it can be an idol? When I'm striving for perfect, where are my eyes? On myself, my task, the expectations of others ... and they are NOT on God. Anything that takes my eyes off God can be an idol, and this has been one for me. I feel like a once-vital piece of me has been scooped out and is still empty, waiting for God to fill it as he pleases ... I can't help but be afraid that I will, out of inattention or discomfort, fill it myself.

5) My oldest little is INCREDIBLY compassionate for a 7-year-old.

6) I am not defined by the tasks that I do or don't do, whether that's laundry, finishing a book, or planning a conference. I am a broken vessel, on the Potter's wheel for the rest of my life, and if I define myself by my tasks then by default I cannot be defined by God - my Creator. I cannot accept myself for who I am in His eyes if I am too busy looking at my own reflection.
7) A few frozen pizzas never hurt anybody.

8) An extra 10 pounds isn't the end of the world. (Not quite anyway.)

9) The 60+ pages I wrote while I was off? Well, that was just between me and God, a permanent record of the journey, not to be turned into something else, just to be kept and remembered when I need reminding.

10) Although I have never minded spending long stretches of time at home, not being able to drive added a dimension I wasn't prepared for! I felt like a prisoner - even though I had tons of help and offers to drive me, run errands, etc. - just the fact that I couldn't pick up my keys and walk out the door if I felt like it was maddening. Gave me a perspective and a heart for the homebound that I didn't have before.

11) I re-discovered a hunger for Christian non-fiction - this might be a time thing for the most part, as I had hours and hours to read and write and process that I didn't have before and won't likely have again, but I read some fantastic books that really challenged me and made me re-define my thinking in some key areas, like social injustice, the Holy Spirit, giving, loving like crazy. This one I really hope will be ongoing - I used to read such books insatiably and have just gotten away from them over the years.

12) God's Word is alive. Active. Sharp as a two-edged sword. Filled with promises that He wants me to claim. True. A big story of redemption - mine and yours. My mechanical "quiet time" has been replaced with an insatiable appetite for the Bible, and I am going to have a hard time going back to a schedule that requires me to shut that down at a specific time rather than when the Spirit shuts it down!

13) Not wearing makeup is really good for my skin.

14) Knowing my limits, on all levels, is really important. Pushing beyond them is not helpful or healthy and bites me back more often than not. Remember, Angie, you are not defined by how many hours you work this week. :)

15) Last but definitely not least (for today anyway): My husband is an amazing man. He took care of me, looked out for me, protected me, fed me, picked me up off the bathroom floor more times than I can count, took over all the household chores, loved me with all his heart - all while carrying a huge burden of the fear of the unknown. Leaving me, especially in those early days, was excruciating for him. He lost his companion and gained a "care-receiver," yet still needed to support our household while caring for me. I have no words for how thankful I am for him and for how deep my love is for him.

OK one more. I am loved. Three little words - one huge concept. Can you say the same, and really believe it?

four

2011-08-23T10:44:00.000-05:00

My littlest little turned four yesterday. She is a 40-ish pound combo of princess, sweetness, third-child-loudness, excellent negotiation skills, quick wit, and sassiness. Lots of sassiness. She can do everything by herself (of course). But she also still fits perfectly on my lap for a snuggle - rocking a warm and lovely bundle right after she wakes up is as good as it gets for me.

She lets her wishes be known, and walks with what I can only describe as a "swagger" - I know, how is that possible in a four-year-old princess, but I'm not kidding you, she pulls it off. It's a cross between fearless confidence and, well, sassiness.

We've never had a girly-girl in the family before, so we are all learning as we go ... that you can never have too many Barbies, that a bath is not complete without bubbles, that her nails need to be painted ALL the time, that a huge dollhouse can consume her for hours, and that some combination of tiaras and tutus and high heels are a regular part of her ensemble on any given day.

Happy Birthday, my funny, sweet, sassy girl!

celebrating baby steps

2011-08-21T09:19:00.000-05:00

Nope, still no diagnosis. A few possible explanations for some sypmtoms, but no overall answers. However, that news takes a back seat to what really matters: I am continuing to feeling better! It is so interesting to feel thankful to cook dinner for my husband. Or get my own groceries. Or even clean my toilet myself! Before you misunderstand let me say two things: First, if you are reading this and are one of the angels who has served me in one or more of these ways over the past months, THANK YOU! I honestly don't know what we would have done without you. But second, those tasks I mentioned used to be just mundane, everyday things in my life, some of which I enjoyed, some not so much, but the point is I just DID them without thinking - until I couldn't do them anymore.

Today, I give thanks while frying an egg, gathering shoes to put away, running to the library to return books, and yes, even while cleaning the toilet. (I might have only given thanks for the toilet once.) I have a different understanding of "give thanks in all things" - I have always thought of that in terms of hardship - even when things are hard, I am to give thanks, and of course this is true. However, it's never occurred to me to give thanks that I can get groceries! Another one, "do your work heartily, as unto the Lord" - always thought that applied to my job (or primary ministry) ... not so much to sweeping the floor.

And so I continue to process as I regain my energy. I have to go slow - of course I just want to go back to 100 mph right now. But I can't do that, my body won't let me. And frankly, I'm thankful, Because I really think the lessons I've learned during this time would quickly fade if I were able to do that.

I feel changed. I will (please God I hope I will!) go back to my job, and nothing in the end will look as if it's changed from the outside (except maybe a few more gray hairs and BIFOCALS, thank you very much). These few months have been hard, and scary, and discouraging. I will not ever say otherwise. But I will also never, ever, deny that God has used this time in a mighty way to show Himself to me and reveal some things to me ABOUT me that I don't think I was ever ready for prior to now. As a result my perspective towards Him, towards others, towards work of any and all kind, whether home, job, volunteer, missionary, prayer, or study, is different. I've realized how much I operate based on what I know, what I'm good at, what comes easily to me, what makes sense to me, without ever giving God a thought, let alone looking to see what He might have in mind. I pray every day that the work God has begun in me will not only carry through into every corner of my life, but will continue to progress because I choose to remain in the Potter's Hand as I slowly re-enter my "real life."

This song is speaking to me right now - I need to be mindful of what I just said - it would be so easy to just step back into my old shoes and go back to "Egypt" - it was comfortable and I was happy enough there right? At least it was safe and a known quantity. However. I don't think it fits me anymore.

overdue

2011-08-15T19:19:00.000-05:00

This has been a longer pause than I intended! I do have some good excuses ... mainly that until this past week I have been in a drug-induced haze. One of the medications I've been on that is supposed to prevent migraines (Topamax) simply makes me stupid. Instead of getting better, over six weeks' time, it just kept getting worse, until I felt like I was losing pieces of myself day by day. I got to the point where getting the dishwasher loaded was a big accomplishment for the day, and anyone who knows me realizes how ridiculously WRONG that is!!

On top of that, two weeks ago I aspirated something (food or liquid) into my lungs and ended up with pneumonia. Needless to say, that incapacitated me for awhile. Thankfully we caught it early so I was "cured" with antibiotics and avoided the hospital.

Two weekends ago, I decided enough was enough. I did a TON of research and discovered that the reaction I was having to the Topamax was not unusual, and would probably not get any better as long as I was on it. Considering that I was still having almost daily migraines, it seemed pretty obvious that it is not helping, and the side effects are intolerable. So after talking with one of my doctors, I began the process of safely tapering off the Topamax and starting another medicine that I have taken before (and tolerated well) that is also a good preventive for migraines.

I also discovered that migraneurs often have magnesium deficiencies, so I started taking magnesium supplements last Monday. I also found that caffeine is terrible for migraines ... ARGH!!!!! But at this point the potential tradeoff is worth it, so I have been cutting back my caffeine drastically with the goal to be caffeine free.

THE RESULT: I had a fantastic week last week!! My energy is returning, my brain is de-fogging, I've rediscovered my sense of humor, and I'm BORED! That may be the best sign of all. :) I only had two headaches last week. Most exciting: I was able to attend a big family function Saturday, and went to church on Sunday for the first time since May. All attempts to be part of big groups of people previously have failed - sensory overload I guess. I would get a migraine almost immediately and have to leave. So I am just thrilled beyond words to have had such a great week and to have been able to interact with people I love outside of my house.

I did have an MRI on my neck last Friday (checking to see if the disc above the one that was fused last summer has possibly herniated - we know it is bulged and if it has herniated it could be causing a lot of my symptoms) and a vision evoked potential test today (checks how fast my brain responds to stimuli - another MS test). These are the last two tests that I know of, and once I have those results we plan to gather everything up and go back to my primary care doctor for help in deciding where to go from here. There are a lot of "borderline" results in my various tests, but nothing definitive - of course it couldn't be that easy!

I continue to savor my morning time reading, studying, writing, and being still before God - this has been and continues to be an incredible time of spiritual growth for me, and while I don't especially like the particular circumstances, I would not trade the things I've learned and the way God has revealed Himself to me for anything!

My big littles started back to school today. I can hardly believe it - summer's gone and they are now in first and second grade. Speaking of savoring, time really does fly, and I continue to have impressed on me the importance of choosing well how I spend my time. It matters. Those little bodies are only going to fit beside me in this recliner for a little while longer, and sick or not, I want them snuggling me while they're still willing!
Happy Monday!

mixed up, messed up moment

2011-08-01T08:06:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those moments (or days!) when you get mixed up, or forget something you know like the back of your hand, or put something in a totally random place, or mess something up you've done a million times? A bit disconcerting, no?

Well, I had one of those yesterday, and it nearly sent me off my rocker.

I diligently fill both Greg's and my little Monday-Sunday pill boxes every week. Needless to say mine has gotten a bit heftier lately. When I put his out for him yesterday morning, there was a white pill in there that I didn't recognize. And it was one more pill than what is normally in his "set." So I started to try to figure out what this extra fellow was. Now, to complicate things, between us we take THREE little white pills. And I was almost out of two of them, so my pillbox was not completed for the week with two out of the three.

The more I sorted the more confused I got. Naturally I had thrown away the empty bottles and hadn't yet picked up the new prescriptions. My biggest fear was that I had accidentally put my migraine medicine in his box, you know that one that makes me stupid? That's the LAST thing I need - to send him out the door to work with power tools on ladders, stupid.

I'm working my way into a full-fledged panic, because these are definitely three distinctively different pills. Even though they are all white and little, the letters they have on them are not the same. I'm ready to throw them all in the trash and start over (never MIND that one of these is $1 a pill!) when my mom comes in with the new prescriptions. So we get the two out that I had refilled and were able to sort two of the three into known piles. But still that left a whole pile that I not only had no I idea what they were, now I couldn't even remember whose box they had come from!!

Thankfully mom's level head saved the day - she called the pharmacy and (who knew?) there is a reference book they use to look up pills by color and size and the numbers and letters on the pill. I would venture to guess this little book is usually needed by 80 something year old people on the other end of the line, but whatever, it saved the day ... the extra pile of pills ended up being generic ZYRTEC which I just started putting in his pills this week because he's having allergies like crazy. Seriously. Memory trouble much?

I, of course, started bawling because 1) I was relieved and 2) apparently I have the memory of an 80 something, and I might be insulting them by saying that!

Oh well, as Jennifer Hudson proclaims, it's a NEW DAY!

this day

2011-07-29T18:42:00.000-05:00

Last night with the thunderstorms came the mother of all migraines - WOW! I finally got to sleep about 11:00, and had my fully expected sluggish, dopey wake up this morning. COFFEE PLEASE!

A sweet friend comes for coffee before work once a week and today was the day - was it tempting to text and cancel? Yes. I could barely lift my head. She totally would have understand ... but I was awake and I knew she would still love me dopey and sluggish, so I didn't. And what a blessing it was to spend that time with her - it always is, but today was an extra special time.

Next up was some pre-planned time with Christa and the littles. I've had so few opportunities to spend time with them this summer, and that makes me so sad. So again, while I was so tempted to crawl back in bed, I went on over, and had some precious one-on-one time with each kiddo. Mase and I built with Trios - some sort of amazing Spiderman contraption that would keep out the bad guys and keep the good guys safe, complete with ladders and stairs, steps, swinging doors, labs, etc. Of course everything I tried he had a "better way" (he was almost always right, darn kid). It was sweet time with him. Next up, Lexi and a ferocious game of Rummikub. Speaking of darn kid, she beat me! But it was a good, fun, close game - she is so good! Lots of chatting which is not normal during that particular game, so we got "caught up" too. Also got to see her new ginormous bear that she bought with her own money - the thing is half again her size and she lays in it to read. :) Also got to see her new backpack and peek into her new school supplies - pure joy, for REAL!

Then Callie, not to be left out, wanted to play a game too. This was actually hilarious. The game she picked was ridiculous - it's a tub of tiles that each have a word on them, and the point of the "game" is to make sentences out of the words. (I'm not even sure it's really a game at all, and remember she's THREE. She CAN'T READ.) Somehow it took on Rummikub-ish rules and we divided the tiles and the goal was to get rid of them as fast as possible. So picture this ... I'm over there obsessing on how to make these random words into real sentences and she's lining her tiles up by color as fast as she can. Guess what, I lost that game too. :)

And that was it ... my "push" was over, and I dragged myself home for a bite of lunch and a super long nap.

I started a book by Warren Wiersbe called "The Bumps are What You Climb On" - only read the first chapter, which was good - I'll let you know as I progress - but it led me to Psalm 91 which was fantastic for me today - do me a favor and put this aside, go find a Bible or go to biblegateway.com and look it up, and tell me if it encouraged you as much as it did me!

This day.

these days

2011-07-28T07:29:00.001-05:00

These days ... I've been waiting until this "season" passes to start blogging again. You know, my usual eclectic weird mix of goofy, serious, littles'-adoring posts. But as I've alluded to in the last few, I've got some health stuff going on, and on ... and on. So if I want to keep posting it looks like I'm going to need to give you at least the short version of the backstory and catch you up to speed so that I can tell you about the cool things that are happening on the journey, and I really want to share that stuff! First, this song seemed really fitting this morning - pretty apt description of where I stand right now ... trying to learn how to love these days. (Plus I just love Mandisa!)

On April 7th, I had a sudden onset migraine accompanied with vertigo, and shortly thereafter started having seizures. Thankfully my husband was home, and he called an ambulance. I spent several days in the hospital, including being transferred to an epilepsy unit, and came home with no real answers. I began having nearly daily migraines, sometimes accompanied by the vertigos, and occasionally with seizures. I made several more trips to the emergency room, obviously started seeing numerous doctors, and the short version is this: no one can figure out what's going on. I have lots of other symptoms that started at the same time - swallowing problems, balance issues, numbness & tingling in my hands and feet, vision problems, excruciating fatigue, I could go on. The latest is that I had a a bunch of blood work and a lumbar puncture last Friday looking for MS and Lyme Disease, and the results should take about 10 days. The closest thing to a diagnosis I have is "migraine with seizures," which I believe to be true, but it cannot explain all the other things that are happening at the same time. I have been sent "chasing symptoms" (such as the vision problems) to specialists, none of which can be explained within the specialty of that doctor.

I will tell you that if the lumbar puncture/blood work come back negative, we are considering going to Mayo Clinic. We think at this point that we need a team of people on "the case" to see what is going on - obviously it's quite complicated.

I've been on a leave of absence from work since July 1. I can't say enough about the wonderful people I work for and with - they were not only gracious but encouraged me without hesitation to take this time to get well. My co-workers and other friends have been encouraging in so many ways, checking in on me, bringing meals, visiting me, and breaking me loose from jail from time to time (I'm not driving either).

As you might guess, though, the days can get long, and nearly daily migraines are quite frankly exhausting and depressing. I fight against losing joy and hope ... my heart and mind know the truth - the source of my joy, the source of my hope, are in the God who is right here to comfort me, and who has a purpose for this time in my life - I know it I know it I know it! But I'm human, and there are just days when I am sad, and days that I get mad.

I have made a choice, though. When I realized that I would have empty hours stretching before me every single day, I knew that I would have to choose carefully how to spend them, or the depression would envelop me quickly. Law & Order, fooling around on Facebook, etc., are great time wasters for me, and I could easily spend all my days doing nothing more, especially if I'm not feeling well, and of course it could be rationalized by ... you guessed it - I don't feel well!!

However, I knew that for my spiritual, emotional and mental health, I needed to make a different choice. So I am spending my mornings with the Lord, one way or another. I don't have any "formula" (unusual for me - another post about that coming soon :) but rather am reading a number of books that have been on my "I'll get to that someday" list, listening to music, reading devotionals, studying scripture, and journaling like crazy. I'm learning to get real with God, and it's been absolutely stunning to me how near He has come when I let my defenses down. (WHY do we keep up our defenses up against God? I suppose because we've learned we need to keep them up against people to stay safe, so we automatically keep them up towards Him too, our ONLY safe place?) Anyway, I'm still stutter-stepping my way into this "realness" but it is raw and lovely, and I wake up excited to do it again every day.

That's it for now. Back soon.

hula hoop hips on the 4th of July

2011-07-05T07:12:00.000-05:00

Gotta love these two hula-hoopers - Lexi's been working at it for awhile (now don't forget the coordination gene factor that runs in our family - all in all she's doing pretty well in my opinion)!

And never one to be outdone, youngest little must have her turn in the limelight. Now she is definitely the most coordinated of the three, so at her age, I again think she does a pretty darn good job!

I had to laugh when Christa sat down to make Mason repeat the the punk rules to her before they started doing their fireworks - most of them were the usual expected ones, but the very first rule he stated was "DO NOT touch anyone with the punk!" Ha ha ha! Wonder if that had already happened the night before??

stop, drop and roll

2011-06-26T15:06:00.000-05:00

In the shower this morning, “Stop, Drop and Roll” came into my mind. When we’re on fire every instinct tells us to run, thrash, scream, fight – to preserve my life. That is MY instinct. I do feel a bit like my life is on fire. But the truth is that the safest thing to do – as counterintuitive as it might seem – is to stop, drop and roll. This makes me grin – God you’ve clearly taken care of the stop and drop part for me. Not sure what the “roll” will be but I can be sure You will show me in your good time.

Started the “Experiencing God” workbook this morning – I did this years ago and have been nudged from several directions this week to do it again. One of the first sections talks about having a roadmap for my journey, knowing all the turns, stops, yields, etc. ahead of time – I like that! Didn’t You make me a natural planner? This makes sense to me! – vs. having a passenger who knows exactly where we’re going and all I have to do is turn when he says turn. Put in that light, of course I’d prefer the second way – in fact, I think there’s a third way that sounds even better – You drive and I’ll just come along for the ride. Then I don’t even have to worry about whether You’re paying enough attention, whether I’m in the right lane, if the turn is coming up soon – I just go where You go, and I’m relaxed enough that we talk all the way there.

You sent Abram out with a simple command: “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” (Gen 12:1) So basically, he just had to pack his bag and get in the truck, right? And even packing is iffy – if you don’t know where it is you’re going it’s pretty hard to pack the right stuff. And I can imagine the agony of trying to figure that out … so maybe it’s more of "just get in the truck" and trust that You will provide for me on the journey, as well as at our destination.

At the same time as You gave him the command to go, You made him a promise:

“I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” (Gen 12:2-3)

And with that, Abram gathered his stuff and his family and off they went. But here’s the thing – the very next verse tells me where they ended up! So I skip right along without even thinking about what the journey must have been like – clueless, wandering, frustrating even? You don’t tell us about what that was like. But yet You’ve given me the “leave and go” command and now I’m choosing to get in the truck. And I know all about the promises You’ve made to me. I know with all my heart that they are true, because You told me so. Am I living like I believe them? Nope. So here we go. I’m bringing nothin’ but You – because I don’t have the energy or the foresight to know what I might need. Take me where you will Lord, I’m ready for a road trip with you! Yet realistically I know I’m going to be digging in the glove compartment looking for that map, asking to drive (maybe even stealing Your keys), wanting to stop at Walmart for supplies, etc. You know me. So maybe you should cuff me to the door … wait! Maybe that’s EXACTLY what You’ve done!
Stop - check. Drop - check. Roll - ready, but only with Your help.

just me and elijah

2011-06-23T21:13:00.000-05:00

This is definitely NOT what I expected to be posting about right now. But this passage from 1 Kings 19 has had such an incredibly profound impact on me over the last few weeks, as I've struggled with my health, and the unknown, and eventually coming to terms with the reality that I need to take a leave of absence from my job. I need to rest, recover, and pursue answers so that I can get well.

This passage has boomeranged back to me over and over and over, and so I just had to share it (with liberal editorial comments). I would recommend that you read the whole of Chapters 18 and 19 first for context, especially if you don't know the story of Jezebel. Anyway, here's what poured forth in the last hour:

(Note: Scripture quoted in purple, my comments in black.)

1 Kings 19 excerpts:

(Elijah is running for his life from Jezebel. He was afraid – and with good reason!)

v. 4-8

“But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, ‘It is enough; now O Lord, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers.’”

He has had enough, and asks God to kill him! And how does God respond?

“He [Elijah] lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, 'Arise, eat.'”

Then he looked and behold, there was at his head a bread cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again.

The angel of the Lord came a second time and touched him and said, “Arise, eat, because the journey is too great for you.” So he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mountain of God.”

So God gives him rest, food, rest, acknowledges the weight of Elijah's burden, and gives him more food - food to sustain him for 40 days and nights!! And what does Elijah do?

“Then he came there to a cave and lodged there; and behold the word of the Lord came to him and he said to him, “What are you doing here Elijah?”

Elijah protests: “He said, ‘I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I along am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”

What does God do then? He’s fed him, given him food unlike any other, protected him, and now Elijah’s hiding?? God says:

“Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.”

Elijah hears this and comes as far as the mouth of the cave, blinking, no doubt, in the sunlight. And God repeats: “What are you doing here Elijah??”

Elijah repeats the VERY SAME protest!

God tells him to move along. But He promises help, and delivers it in the form of Elisha, and an army of 7000 men to stand with him. The mantle is passed from Elijah to Elisha - no small job here for Elisha! And yet, (v. 21): “Then he [Elisha!] arose and followed Elijah and ministered to him.”

Take aways for me:

1) God knows what I need. Sometimes it’s as simple as food and rest.

2) Sometimes the journey I am on is too great for me.

3) Only HIS food will sustain me for the journey he’s set before me.

4) Even when He provides so incredibly … Elijah still wanted to hang out in the cave. Felt safe? Didn’t trust, for sure. Scared, definitely.

5) God reveals HIMSELF. Speaks directly to Elijah, twice! And Elijah’s response is protest and defending himself.

6) Only when God promises help in human form can Elijah rouse himself and move on.

7) The help God sent was Elisha – someone to TAKE OVER for Elijah (for whom the journey was too great?) – and yet even as he took over, he followed Elijah and ministered to him.

Great – GREAT – is His faithfulness to know and give me what I need. Great is His patience, when He’s giving me EXACTLY what I need, even directly revealing HIMSELF to me, and yet I protest. And great is His mercy, to provide a human replacement when I need it, and greater still that he would send a replacement not just to relieve me of my burden, but a replacement who will minister to me.

Written with joy,

good intentions never get me very far

2011-06-23T12:59:00.000-05:00

So, my faithful readers, for all my big talk about getting back to regular posting, it's been something like three weeks since I've actually done it. Here's the deal. I keep waiting for a "happy post" to materialize, and it just ain't happenin'. So the next one, in the near future (translated: as soon as my body cooperates with me), will be an "I yam where I yam" sort of blog. God is working in me, and I have an idea simmering, or maybe in the crockpot, or maybe just a meal plan, but I'm waiting in hope that it's mealtime soon!

ah, my heart!

2011-06-02T16:02:00.000-05:00

My biggest little finally lost a front tooth. Or I should say, she wrenched that tooth out of her mouth by herself. She's late losing it - she turned 7 in January - but still. Still. As joyful as I was for her and with her, my heart gave a little lurch as I sensed some sort of rite of passage. I'm not sure my sweet girl can still be called a "little" when she gets "big" teeth.

Sadly, the Tooth Fairy must have had a very busy night because the expected exchange did not take place last night ... here's hoping she shows up tonight or someone will have some explaining to do!

Short post, full heart. My mind's eye still sees this little one curled up in a tiny (bald) ball clutching her beloved blankie and sucking her thumb. But time defies my memory and marches on, and on, and on.

birthday boy

2011-05-24T15:35:00.000-05:00

Last week we celebrated the middle little's birthday. It came during a week of straight-up chaos - their house "flooded" Tuesday night due to a faucet malfunction in the upstairs bathroom, and water ran down through ceilings and floors all the way to the basement. They camped out with us all week, and we celebrated his birthday with grilled cheese sandwiches and (Campbell's) chicken noodle soup - his choice. :)

Imagine his delight when he opened this gift - the one thing he wanted more than anything was a remote control monster truck!

Unfortunately for him, there's more to the story:

Love the singing, love the "cha-cha-cha" and love the long-distance candle blowout. Love this boy.

(I'm thinking the marketers missed the boat here - this should be advertised as educational: "This product is guaranteed to teach your child delayed gratification every single day! No lesson plans or parent preparation necessary! Any frustration experienced by the child may be redirected toward the product, thus maintaining peace and harmony in your home.")

Thursday night was his kindergarten graduation - a mass of six-year-olds on risers ... never a good thing. Let's just say he and the kid next to him punched each other a lot, and a little girl in front of them inexplicably fell off the riser. :)

Happy birthday, buddy - we love you so!

mr. fox's revelations

2011-05-16T19:15:00.000-05:00

Oh, the places you can go in 90 minutes with the Littles! I wish I had taken my camera ... then again, I would have been relegated to observer status and the evening probably would not have unfolded as it did.

First, dinner. Leftovers for all ... even though they each chose their own fare, none were pleased. I'll spare you the whining. Then, homework. Quick and easy; you can tell the school year is almost over. And out to play we go!

With the swings, monkey bars, tree climbing (Lexi is just downright scary in that tree, by the way), the hula hoop (not me, thanks) and a pitiful game of catch (Callie is the only one of the four of us that regularly catches the ball) behind us, Mason suggested we play "What Time is it Mr. Fox?" After five minutes of yelling and negotiating between Lexi and Mason, I finally figured out that we were going to play some version of tag.

It went like this: Mason was Mr. Fox, at one end of the yard. We girls stood at the other fence and yelled (you got it), "WHAT TIME IS IT, MR. FOX?" At this point he is supposed to give us a number between 1 and 12. We are to take that number of steps toward him. This makes sense to me, clock, time, etc. His response: "Twenty hundred!" Lexi yells at him that it has to be less than 12. He pouts, lip out, arms crossed, the whole shebang. He states that there are 24 hours in a day so he should be able to go up to 24. I peel Lexi off the (proverbial) ceiling and get her to agree he can go up to 24. We ask again, "WHAT TIME IS IT, MR. FOX?" and he tells us 9. We walk 9 steps toward him. We ask again, he answers 14, we walk 14 steps toward him. And so on. We get closer and closer to him, and at any time, he could say "MIDNIGHT!"... at which point we should all turn and run back to the fence. He should then chase us down and the first person he tags is now Mr(s). Fox. (2011 version of "you're it!")

Here's the problem - he really likes being Mr. Fox, so even when he has walked us nose to nose with him and he finally yells "MIDNIGHT," he never attempts to tag anyone. In fact he doesn't even move an inch. Meanwhile the three of us have hightailed it back to the fence, and he's still standing at the other end of the yard.

Predictably, Lexi is furious. After the third round of this, I basically tackled him and said he tagged me, mostly to keep Lexi from losing her mind. He pouts. Now I'm Mrs. Fox, and of course I play by the rules, they ask me "what time" and I get them close to me, step by step, then I yell, "MIDNIGHT!" They start running ... well the girls start running and Mason plants himself in front of me. I skirt around him and since Lexi is already back to the fence, I chase Callie down and tag her ... and she flips out crying. Like, bawling her head off, hitching sobs crying. I'm holding her and asking her what's wrong and trying to see where she's bleeding (I didn't knock her down, I swear!), and when she can finally answer me: "I just didn't WANT you to tag me!" And she kept crying.

You get the picture, right? We attempted various versions of this for about 30 minutes. I'm wiped out, Lexi is yelling the rules at everyone and trying to make order out of chaos, Mason is pouting and breaking all the rules and generally creating chaos, and Callie is half-crying the whole time. Mr. Fox certainly backed up all I know about birth order (my own included)!

uncommon tribute

2011-05-08T12:34:00.002-05:00

Mother's Day. Celebrated far and wide. Around tables, in churches, over the phone, in restaurants, in parks, backyards, visiting, laughing. Celebrating.

I love that.

But I can't help but think about so many women who are childless on Mother's Day. The ones who have lost a baby, a child, a teenager, an adult child. The ones who never had a child, whether they wanted one desperately, never got around to it, or chose not to have one. The ones who are estranged. The ones who are forgotten. This is probably not a day to celebrate for them.

However, HOWEVER. We SHOULD celebrate every woman we know on this day, regardless of their "mother" status. Because every woman on this planet has had an impact on many, many people. Think about all the other women in your lives besides your mother that have made a difference in your life. Stop. Think. There are countless numbers of them, right? School teachers. Sunday school teachers. Neighbors. Your friends' moms. Your friends now. Mentors. And more than likely, some of them are not mothers in the celebrating Mother's Day kind of way. But more than likely, we would not be who were are today without them.

For me, I was shaped and molded and made who I am by my mothers (I happen to have two ... that's a whole 'nother blog.) I am so grateful to both of them and I love them so much. I am blessed beyond measure to have not only the two of them but also my mother-in-law still here with me, and all three of them actively involved in my life.

I can also think of many other women who have poured into my life and made a difference, young and old, rich and poor, skinny and ... well you get the drift. Some of them are mothers, some of them are not. They don't replace my mothers. But I am thankful for each and every one of them.

So today, as you celebrate your mothers, consider reaching out this coming week to some of the other women who have impacted your life. They may not even know they made a difference, and you might just make their day.

heard one Sunday

2011-05-02T20:04:00.000-05:00

Brooke lobbed me a good topic today! (See come play with me if I've lost you.) :) I'm mulling it over and will give it a go soon.

Meanwhile, we took the littles to church with us yesterday. After collecting them from Sunday School, we crammed them into our (usually roomy) Malibu for the ride home. Get the visual here - a 7, a 5, and a 3-year-old sitting cheek to cheek. So by default they're touching each other BEFORE they even start touching each other! Trying to avoid the inevitable, I started asking them questions. Lexi enthusiastically said, "My class was GREAT today!" I was a little surprised - she is usually pretty reserved. So I asked her what she learned about ... "The Holy Spirit!" she said.

Well, I immediately gave mental kudos to the brave souls that were willing to tackle the Holy Spirit with first graders! Then I thought, hmmm, I probably should ask for more information before I'm TOO impressed, right? So here's how it went:

Me: "Who is the Holy Spirit?"
Lex: "He's God!"
Me: "How can HE be God? God is God."
Lex: "He is! Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit are all God. There's three of them, but they're all one too, you can't understand it but it's just true."
Me: "You're right ... but God lives in heaven, so where does the Holy Spirit live?"
Lex: "Inside me."
Me: "Inside you? Why?"
Lex: "To guide my path, to guide me every day!"

WOW. Yep, I'm seriously impressed with the Sunday school teacher, the curriculum, the staff, whoever and whatever put yesterday's lesson together in a way that sent her home with TRUTH LIKE THIS! Wow.

(an aside ... throughout this whole conversation, there is a running commentary from Callie, whom I repeatedly shush because this is important stuff we're talking about)

Then Mason: "Well, 'Bobby' (not his real name) said somethin' to me that I didn't agree with."

It's Mason, right? So I'm expecting something like, "He said spiderman has wings." Nope - "He said the Holy Spirit was the devil!"

Me: "Well, you're right to disagree - that isn't true. What do you think?"
Mason: "I think the devil's a serpent."
Lexi: "He used to be an angel but he wanted to be like God so God threw him out of heaven. But I think he can be a serpent."

So here's my invitation to give them the age-appropriate version of Creation and The Fall (Genesis 3). I told them the story of the devil (as a serpent) giving Eve the apple she wasn't supposed to eat, and that when she and Adam made the choice to eat it they disobeyed God. I told them what the results were ... why it mattered ... how their own little world is changed because of that bite.

Mason: "But what if the serpent cut off an apple from the tree they weren't sposed to eat from and glued it onto the tree they COULD eat from, then gave them that apple they weren't sposed to eat but they didn't know it? What would happen then?"

Uh ... ok got it. "Well, then it would have been a trick and they wouldn't have CHOSEN to disobey God, so that's different. What's important, though, is what DID happen, and that it happened because they didn't obey God."

Lexi: "Besides, MASON, that could never happen anyway because a serpent doesn't have ARMS!!"

And the final act ... Callie ... "Nini, Nini, is it my turn ta talk? My talk now? Can I talk?"

OK Callie - it's your turn. What did you want to say?

Callie: "Umm .... ummmm .... Nini? My fingernails need paint."

Mind-blowing and hilarious 15 minute drive home. God is good, all the time, and oh how I love those littles!

five favorites

2011-05-01T13:17:00.000-05:00

Hi Kooky,

Tiny's never-ending soliloquy is a melliflous backdrop to the cacophony of the tv, the ubiquitous presence of two unhappy felines and of course, Excruciatingly Loud Middle Little & Bossy Big Little.

Wudge!

The first four are my current favorites just because I like the way they sound. I get a kick out of trying to work them into regular conversation.

The last one, wudge, may disqualify me because it's not technically a word, but it's my all-time favorite. When Lexi was just starting to talk, "I love you" was one syllable for the longest time - "wudge." It has endured in our family despite the fact that she has no longer knows what it means (which makes me a little sad, to tell you the truth).

So I'll add another, just to be sure: REALLY?! Note that this one must be bolded, capitalized, and followed by both a question mark and an exclamation point ... it is an all-purpose word that can mean: "Are you kidding me??" or "Are you SURE?" and generally infers sarcasm (one of my specialties), rolled up nicely into two syllables.

Frankly, you could ask me this question every week and get a different answer - I LOVE WORDS! Probably not an accident that "word" rhymes with "nerd."

Happy Sunday! Who's next?

come play with me!

2011-04-30T11:43:00.000-05:00

Good morning! After twelve straight hours of sleep, I'm on a roll! House is clean, laundry is done ... the only thing left on my list is to paint my nails.The littles are coming for a sleepover tonight so I should probably consider conserving the rest of my energy.

I had a thought. I really love doing what I call a "Free Write." Here's what that looks like. Something sparks my interest, whether it's something I read, hear, or some random thing that just pops into my head. I do lots of these in my journaling ... what if we did some on here? I'm thinking that you all can give me some topics - a word, a sentence, a paragraph - silly, serious, emotional, ridiculous - and I'll see what "pops out" and post it here if it's worth reading. Of course you will be the ones to judge whether it's worth reading or not ... but it might be fun!

And how about this? Post your own "free write" (on your own topic or one that is suggested) as a comment here!

No rules - oh wait, just one. Please post your ideas as a comment here instead of on Facebook - it will be much easier for me to keep track of them that way. There's several options on how to do that - if you have questions I can help.

Ugh I just realized that I used the phrase "as a comment here" in two successive paragraphs ... really not ok. But I'm leaving it, this one time.

pink is my beautiful

2011-04-29T12:08:00.001-05:00

Today I had a lofty goal: to spend my birthday money on a new, fun purse, not because I really needed one, but because I usually look at a purse as a necessity, not an accessory. So, in addition to my regular "daughter-groceries-errands" Friday, we took the littlest little and went a-shopping. I asked Tiny to help me choose, and she did - she gave me two (pink) choices and this was my favorite. When we got back in the van, she said very matter-of-factly, "Pink is my beautiful." Can't argue with that!

Hey I'm excited that so many of you are stopping by this blog! (My little site meter counter thingy tells me so.) But I would love it if A Slice of Life was a busy two-way street instead of a one-way alley ... you can comment right on this blog or on Facebook if you visited from there. It's too quiet in here - honk your horn or at least give me a wave.

Gotta go ... Tiny wants to be Nini and it's time for me to be Tiny and open up the restaurant for pretend lunch! (She's already wearing my flip flops and reading my book - she's reaching for my phone - LUNCH IS SERVED!)

what time is it?

2011-04-28T17:13:00.000-05:00

I just had a startling thought. For months now, I've been lamenting the fact that my desire to write was in the wind. But why? Why. Maybe because my mind has been so incredibly occupied with so many other things, there's been no room to wander. When my thoughts roam, the writing tends to flow.

These past few weeks, I've been forced to slow down. Mentally, physically, emotionally. This has not been an enjoyable time for me, and many complaints and whines have wandered about. In my thoughts, to those around me, and yes, toward God. "What about this?" That's been my question for him. Guess what ... WRONG QUESTION! More importantly, wrong focus. "What about this?" focuses on me, and on the "this."

Right question: "What do I think of You now?" I think that what You say is true. I think that You are faithful and merciful and gracious and your lovingkindness towards me is endless. I think that You have a plan for me and that it is perfect. So if I really believe that what I believe is really real ... then I'll let You handle the "this" and I won't worry at all. And my walk will match my talk. Yet I echo the cry of the unnamed father (Mark 9:24) as Jesus healed his son: "Lord I believe! Help me in my unbelief."

So I told you all that to tell you this: As I've wandered through the wilderness, my thoughts have roamed and wandered also. And out of all that, the wind has shifted and the words are flowing again. I've missed it altogether - how often do I miss the BFO's in my life? (BFO = Blinding Flash of the Obvious.) I saw a little boy's letter to God that said, "Dear God, thanks for the baby brother. But I prayed for a puppy." I've been praying for the puppy, and God is trying to give me a baby! (Ooh wouldn't that be nice, for real?)

So today, I give thanks for the time. The time for my thoughts to roam and wander. The time to really examine and consider anew the unfolding of God's grand plan for our rescue through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross and the miracle of the empty tomb. The time to rest. And yes, the time to write.

(P.S. The next time you hear me whine or complain about the "this," for I surely will, please ask me:: "What time is it?")

THIS is the day

2011-04-27T16:09:00.000-05:00

This is the day ...

that I met with a friend for coffee and was blessed beyond measure
that I (finally) painted my toenails for spring
that I took another big long nap
that I wondered if I will ever get back to "myself"
that I enjoyed the smell of a yummy new candle all day
that I read several chapters of a book I've been meaning to start forever
that my husband left me sleeping soundly, then called later to make sure I woke up on time
that I read an Oswald Chambers quote: "God never gives us anything accidental."
that I ate a pb&j for lunch for the first time in years
that I was startled and thankful to remember God's promise in Isaiah 54:10:

"My unfailing love for you will not be shaken."

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it! Big or little, hard or easy, lazy or busy, THIS is the day.

between Friday and Sunday

2011-04-23T10:36:00.000-05:00

I got to wondering last night what Saturday was like for Jesus' disciples. These days, we tend to skip right from the horror of Good Friday, ending with the deliberate humilation and then the agony of His death on the cross, to the hallelujahs and glorious promises fulfilled on Sunday morning, when the tomb was empty.

But what about Saturday?

I searched my Bible this morning, wondering if I'd missed something. Saturday was the Sabbath for the Jews, so the religious leaders hurried to get Jesus buried Friday night so as not to disturb their day of rest. Surprisingly, Matthew tells us this: "Now on the next day, the day after the preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered together with Pilate [the man who ordered Jesus' crucifixion] and said, 'Sir, we remember that when He was still alive that deceiver said, 'After three days I am to rise again.' Therefore, give orders for the grave to be made secure until the third day." Even though their purpose seemed to be to prevent the disciples from stealing His body and tell the people He had risen, it's interesting to me that they remembered His words.

Mark and John skip Saturday entirely. Luke tells us that the women went Friday night to see the tomb and "returned and prepared spices and perfumes." But then: "And on the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment."

So, what about Saturday? Since the Bible doesn't tell us much about that day, I am left wondering about the disciples. How did they feel? Certainly they felt the pain and grief of losing their teacher, prophet, friend. When Jesus asked His disciples "Who do people say that [I] am?" they responded that "... some say ... John the Baptist ... Elijah ... Jeremiah, or one of the prophets." Then Jesus changed the question: "But who do YOU say that I am?" And Peter, bold, brash, impetuous Peter, replied: "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." ("Christ" also means "Messiah," which is defined as the ideal king anointed and empowered to rescue His people from their enemies and establish His kingdom.")

How confused must they have been? He told them many times that He would rise on the third day, but it doesn't seem that they ever really understood it. So IF He was the Messiah, how could he possibly rescue them now? They now must make a choice - continue to believe the improbable or assume they got it wrong.

And if they got it wrong, then what of the past three years? They left EVERYTHING to follow Him. Home, family, job ... to trek all over the place listening to Him and watching Him perform miracles ... and expecting Him to rescue them by physically conquering Israel. Did they feel disappointment? Betrayal? Surely they did. Foolish? I would guess so. When I feel betrayed, disappointed and foolish, I usually get angry. Were they angry?

And what now? Would they go crawling back to their former lives to face the "I told you so's" or stay together and hide?

Hopelessness and despair, also. So much for rescue. So much for a kingdom on earth. So much for the anointing of God. Was He a liar? If so, they were surely fools for having believed Him.

I can only imagine the darkness of their souls on Saturday.

But then, Sunday! It's interesting to me that the women were the last to be with His body on Friday night, and the first to hurry to the tomb on Sunday morning. We know what they found - or rather what they didn't find. We know that their initial confusion and fear was replaced with the memory of His promises. We see that after the women went home and told the disciples Peter "got up and ran to the tomb" and went away "marveling." We know the rest of the story, right? The necessity of Friday night, and yes, even Saturday. Friday night Jesus willingly gave His life for me ... and for you ... so that we could cross over the impossibly, uncrossable bridge of our sin into complete forgiveness, ushering us into God's presence now and forever. He loved us that much. But Saturday was just as necessary, because it was the only way to get to Sunday.

If I don't believe in Sunday, then all of it was a lie, or the rantings of a lunatic. If I DO believe in Sunday, then I know that He is Lord, and it's all true. God loves me that much. The pain of Saturday had to be endured before the astounding truths of Sunday could be revealed.

Honestly, sometimes I camp out on Saturday. (Ever see the movie Groundhog Day?) My circumstances look bleak, I feel confusion, hopelessness and despair. But unlike the disciples, I already know for SURE about Sunday. Saturday is necessary. God allows Saturdays. And sometimes Saturday feels endless. But Sunday is coming! So while the grief and pain are real and present and not to be minimized, I must not forget Sunday. I must choose to believe that even as I hurt, God is beside me on Saturday, compassionate, loving, faithful. And He has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that joy comes in the morning.

Lamentations 3:22-24 says it well: "The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I have hope in Him.'"

Feel the pain of Saturday. But don't forget about SUNDAY! He is risen, indeed.

when vows are for real

2011-04-17T12:22:00.000-05:00

On Friday,April 15, 1961, my parents took their marriage vows. Of course, I wasn't there, but I can only assume they included "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part." They've endured "for worse" and sickness, no doubt about it, but their commitment to "til death do us part" is nothing short of incredible in this world we live in. Naturally I hope that parting doesn't come anytime soon, and that we will be having another party to celebrate 60 years. Speaking of, we had a marvelous party in their honor yesterday. Tons of people who love them were there, and it was lots of fun! They renewed their vows, and the pastor asked first Mom and then Dad what they remembered most clearly from their wedding day. My mom recounted the story of her dad telling her (just before he walked her down the aisle): "You can still back out, you know!" My dad's response was classic Dad: "I don't really remember anything - it was all a blur!" Big laughs from the audience, but not too surprising ... I'm guessing lots of us remember a big blur on our wedding day.

Just a few short years later, the children started appearing! I was chosen by them from Lutheran Family Services, then my brothers were picked one after the other from the Henry Doorly Zoo. (Hee hee - let's see if they read this!) They loved us well (still do), and we never went without the things we needed. They are solid, faithful, and unwavering in their devotion to one another, and have set an example for all to see of what it looks like to stand firm, even when things get rough. God really does have a perfect design and plan for marriage, and while they would never pretend they've pulled it off perfectly, just the simple fact that they've pulled it off at all is a testimony to that divine plan.

They followed us to Kansas City almost 20 years ago - leaving the home they built with their own hands, their heritage, and the city where they grew up and grew a family. At the time, it just seemed like a natural move - all of us had migrated here, and the grandkids ... well let's just say that their grandkids are their pride and joy and they have poured themselves into each one. They continue to do that with Christa's littles - great-grandchildren! What a cool thing it is to see Callie cooking with Mom, Lexi snuggled up on Dad's lap reading a book, Mason playing something very busy on the floor with one or both of them.

Thanks, Mom and Dad, for showing the world what it looks like, in good times and hard times, til death do you part.

Red shirt. Pink tutu. Black boots.

2011-04-01T08:33:00.000-05:00

beautiful girl

2011-03-28T20:54:00.000-05:00

Flashback: March 28, 1983, 10:17 a.m. Christa Marie made her grand entrance, feet first, screaming like a banshee. I remember so clearly that perfect little beet red face, eyes squeezed shut, mouth wide open. She crashed into my world and I've never been the same. Even as a toddler she was totally tuned in to other people, devastatingly funny, and always two steps ahead of me. All these years later, she can read me like a book (whether I want her to or not!), and she makes me laugh more than anyone I know. She's finally slowed down enough for me to catch up, and I love doing life side by side with her.

And oh, what a good Mommy she is! (She would disagree, but she would be wrong.) She loves her kiddos with a fierce, strong, safe love that takes my breath away sometimes.

She often claims to be "attached to my butt," and I would agree with her. She might think that's a one-sided thing, but again, she would be wrong. Our relationship is precious and rare, and I never want to forget that or take it for granted. I love you, sweet girl!

grumpy

2011-01-20T20:25:00.000-06:00

do you ever feel like this?

I started to write a big long diatribe about why I'm grumpy today. But it was depressing, even to me, and therefore not helpful at all to blather on about it. (Turns out most of the "stuff" sticking in my craw is really stupid, once I saw it in print!) My time would be better spent working on an attitude adjustment and remembering that what I KNOW is more reliable than how I FEEL. I hate it when I act like a girl!

Tomorrow's a new day!

the story of my life

2010-12-02T06:06:00.000-06:00

Have you ever read a book or watched a movie that you thought was based on real life - a true story - only to find out that it was purely fiction? Doesn't it change your whole perception of the story?

For most of my life I have defined myself as being "high" in certain gifts, and really (I mean REALLY) low in mercy and compassion. In fact, I have been quick to tell others that these two particular qualities are weaknesses of mine. At some point I reconciled (rationalized?) this within myself by realizing that I am part of a Body, and everyone has different gifts. So while I'm not the best at mercy and compassion, there are others that are, and they should balance me out. Not that it excuses me from being merciful and compassionate, but it definitely took the pressure off.

Recently I went through an exercise with the other women during our weekly Bible study at the office. We had to write our name on a card, then pass it around the room, and everyone wrote something about that person that we appreciated. No problem! I could easily think of something to write about every woman in that room. But then, we got our own cards back, and had to read them out loud. Oh the horror! Almost every one of us cried as we read them.

Here's the problem. The card with my name on it was filled, front and back, with statements about me that seemed to "appreciate" my care and concern (read "mercy and compassion") for others. Of course my first thought was that they were ALL wrong. Done deal. But as that day and the following ones passed, I found myself taking that card back out and re-reading it, and wondering if it was really possible that everyone lied about me. My conclusion is that these dear women would not do that, and that everyone else's cards, when read aloud, seemed to fit them perfectly.

So I was forced to really examine my "story." Is it possible that while I have been running around spouting off that I stink at mercy and compassion, God has really been expanding that little part of me? Growing it up big enough that it is the thing these women (all of whom know me well) think is a prominent, evident part of who I am?

While this is still hard to wrap my head around, I think that it's time that I stop telling that old story. Obviously God is up to something that I try to thwart everytime I define myself incorrectly, internally or externally. I am surprised - how and when did this happen and how did I miss it? Clearly it's happened over time, gradually, and I missed it because I was so busy defining myself that I haven't noticed all the people and situations God has put in my path that called for much care and compassion. So I'm trying to knock down the walls of that box I made and remember that God said "I know the plans I have for you ..." (Jeremiah 29:11), in fact to stay OUT of any box at all and let Him define me as He pleases. No more story-telling for me.

What's your story?

The Art Gallery

2010-11-29T21:26:00.000-06:00

I have a whole room (unfinished) in my basement that is wallpapered with the creations of the littles. Thought I would share a few from last week. First, Lexi:

No it's not a windmill, it's a flower, and you will get an earful if you say otherwise. Just warnin' ya. I was pretty impressed with the whole 3D thing though - my tape dispenser is nearly empty but this jewel was worth it!

Got it yet? It says "the dumb turkey." (Inventive spelling, that's what you call that.) Why is he dumb? Because he thinks the shaking, cracking egg down in the corner is "A baby!" ... in other words a turkey baby ... but the truth? Joke's on him - it's a T-REX inside that egg!

How 'bout this one? "Bugs in Action"! (Again with the spelling, I know.)

Had to zoom in on the detail - note the eyelashes, etc., on these fine little folks!

And ... drum roll please ... Mason:

I love how all his people have a "V" for a mouth ... and the careful use of stickers too!

This one makes me smile for two reasons - the "S" in his name, and the unabashed use of the pink flowers!

And last but not least, Callie Anne:

Indiscriminate use of pattern, texture and dimension!

Lexi did the flowers for her, the stamps were already on the paper, so her contribution was the red heart, the green trail through the leaves, and the VIOLENT blue patch in the middle. :)

LOVE THEM!

Prelude to Vacation

2010-11-23T19:12:00.001-06:00

A taste of my day, just a little tiny morsel:

My headband gave me a headache, but not until I was already at work and couldn't change my mind +

the poor sweet MOPS baby that screamed for nearly an hour straight just outside my office this morning +

I let the tyranny of the urgent rule the day +

I hit my wall for the WHOLE WORK WEEK at 2:00 on Tuesday!

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, YAY, I'm on vacation for a week!!! Brandon and Shiloh are coming home Thursday and will stay through Tuesday. My office lights are out, my door is shut, I'm home in my pajamas and my recliner, my e-mail and voice mail will inform any and all of where to turn just in case, and I can turn away for awhile, and get properly excited about seeing my son!

In reflecting on "thanksgiving" this week, I found myself lured back to Psalm 95:1-7 over and over:

1 O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD,

Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.

2 Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving,

Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.

3 For the LORD is a great God

And a great King above all gods,

4 In whose hand are the depths of the earth,

The peaks of the mountains are His also.

5 The sea is His, for it was He who made it,

And His hands formed the dry land.

6 Come, let us worship and bow down,

Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker.

7 For He is our God,

And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand .

Verses 1, 2 and 6 instruct us on how to be thankful - shouting, singing with joy, worship, bowing down, and kneeling - and verses 3-5 and 7 tell us WHY we should be thankful - He is our God, everything was made by His hand, and we are His people.

Seems I forgot this for a few hours - oh I felt like shouting all right, but not with joy! But I return to joy tonight, and remember all that I have to be thankful for, and to Whom my thanks should be directed. My grocery list, dirty house, a desperate aversion to all things related to Black Friday, and the prospect of eating too much fade away as I turn my mind toward worship.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

I'm a Publisher!

2010-11-09T16:41:00.000-06:00

OK not true, really. But it made me laugh to type it. Actually, I'm trying to learn Publisher so that I can do brochures and newsletters and the like at work. And I'm feeling that whole old dogs, new tricks thing a bit. I started with an existing document and just played around with it, trying to get a feel for how it works, and much to my consternation two pages quickly overflowed to three, whole sections of text disappeared, and while trying to shrink a "text box" I turned it sideways instead. I'm laughing now ... let's see if that's still true as my deadlines grow near ... somehow I must figure out how to engage my under-developed right brain, as my dominant left brain is not serving me well in this venture!

What's in your cupboard?

2010-11-08T16:34:00.000-06:00

I poured my coffee this morning, and the first sip resulted in irritation. I had the chipped cup. The one that usually stays in the back of the cupboard, but every now and then rotates itself to the front (usually when my dishwasher is full). I kept moving through my morning routine, but every time I lifted that cup to my lips I felt a flash of annoyance. As I was about to pour my second cup, it suddenly dawned on me: I COULD get rid of this cup! I have probably 20 perfectly good, unchipped, coffee cups, and yet I keep hanging on to this one even though it irritates me every time I use it.

And then I wondered, how many "chipped cups" am I hanging on to within myself? Things that might be technically functional, but are not the best I have to give, and in fact are blocking the way to the perfectly good cups? Time to clean out some cupboards!

Knock knock ...

2010-11-07T19:47:00.001-06:00

I've been very anti-social toward my blog for awhile. In fact for so long that I doubt anyone's checking anymore, which is probably just as it should be. Here's why.

I realized a couple of months ago that I was too often writing "to" my audience, instead of just pouring from my heart. Which led to a consideration of a pride component, and the ugly realization that I was not only writing "for" my readers but avidly seeking their affirmation and approval. So I stopped writing anywhere but my journal, and let God lay me bare on this issue of still needing/wanting the approval and affirmation of others, instead of being fully and completely satisfied with His never-changing and endless approval of me and therefore writing out of the overflow of my heart. It doesn't matter whether the subject is some silly or wonderful thing one of my grandchildren has done, chronicling an event in my life, or writing about what God is teaching me and what I see Him doing all around me ... my motivation must NOT be the hope that someone will read it and leave a glowing comment, that it will move someone to action, that I will make someone laugh, or that (here's the heart of it) I will impress someone with my skill.

That was a really hard paragraph to write. My weakness, my wrong motivations, my prideful heart ... laid before you, but most importantly spoken "aloud" before God and laid on the altar. He has gently humbled me during these weeks and months.

Somebody might be thinking, "What's the big deal?" The big deal is that I have always wanted to write. Always. Since I was a little girl. I know I am passionate about many things that I would like to pour out in words. But until now, that desire has been rooted in mixed motivation. I think that there are things I have to say that might be worth reading. But, and here is the change, they will only be worth reading if they're written from a place of weakness and humility, therefore allowing God to write through me, instead of me writing "for Him." He doesn't need me to write for Him - after all, isn't He the author of all things?

So I come back here with the simple desire to share my heart as God leads me. That's it. It will be interesting to see what pours out ... I'm done planning and plotting how to be funny, powerful, motivating with my words. No more agenda rooted in pride.

I imagine my subject matter won't change much ... isn't it totally unpredictable anyway? :) But my heart is changed and I look forward to see where He takes me on this little Slice of Life blog from here.

Oh so much has happened to me and around me since I've posted regularly! What I will share remains to be seen - I feel like I'm going to be sitting beside you waiting to see what will come next. Can I sign up to follow my own blog?

I'll leave you with my favorite snippet of the week. As background, the littles are enthralled with knock-knock jokes right now. At 6, 5 and 3, you might imagine the content and effectiveness of these 'jokes' ... and I use the term loosely. Recently, though, Mason has started to find his comedic timing, and tells this one very well:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Does that even translate into writing? I can heard it in my head though and it's hilarious - he's SO LOUD anyway.

So here's Callie's latest version:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting horse.
Interrupting horse who?
Neigh, neigh ... Hey! I wanna ride a tiny horse!!!!!!

And she's off in a whole other non-sensical direction that left me in tears I was laughing so hard. Precious little dolly!

Back soon.

Lexi cheer

2010-10-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

In all her splendor - she delights me! She had so much fun. Gets to go cheer at a high school football game next Thursday - you can bet we'll be there!

On another note, gosh it's been a long time since an update. In the infamous words of Callie, "my busy." Very true. And my writing for now is confined to my journal, which is not for public consumption! I'll be back one of these days!

useful?

2010-08-10T13:56:00.000-05:00

Today's entry in "My Utmost For His Highest" (Oswald Chambers) contains the following:

"God plants his saints in the most useless places. We say - God intends me to be here, because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is."

Whoo-eee. I read this before heading into my day at work. My useful day. Useful for God, since I work at a church. Right? I wrote in my journal, "Wow, what a trap for me - thinking that I'm useful to You! Change my thinking, Lord - let me bloom where you've planted me, not by being useful but by glorifying You."

He answered within a couple of hours. I was rendered useless. And I pray that I glorified Him.

new habits

2010-08-07T16:21:00.000-05:00

I've been working towards changing old habits, and finding new ones to replace them with. Thinking on what I need to "fast" from and what instead I should "feast" on. And it's hard! I am a creature of habit, though, and with practice I hope that in time I will succeed.

Lexi spent last night with us, and at bedtime she wanted me to read her the book pictured at the left. This "book" was written and illustrated by Brandon in the 5th grade - I wish I could take a picture of every page and let you read it. Very funny stuff. And, as you might imagine, coming from my gene pool the illustrations are ... well ... a bit confusing at best (sorry Beej).

It was a surprise to even find this treasure, as I am not a "keeper of things" and since my kids are grown I've sent their stuff with them. But Lexi is entranced with it, and every time she's been here since we found it, she wants it for her bedtime story. Last night she was so tired I said no, and she asked if we could have it as a first-thing-in-the-morning story instead. Her sweet little face appeared beside my bed promptly at 7:00 a.m. this morning, and the book was under her arm. She crawled up beside me, and we read.

Those of you who know me at all know that I am all about routines and schedules and such. So it is not a stretch that Lexi, blood of my blood, is probably much the same. But I was struck this morning as I was thinking about how hard it is for me to form "new habits" that it is VERY EASY for Lexi to form them. And to remember them without fail, and to follow through on them faithfully. She does this unconsciously, surely (she's only six, right?!), but I am paying attention. I think I will do my best to take my cue from her.

she speaks, He moves, he serves

2010-08-04T14:02:00.001-05:00

This was a truly incredible weekend. I traveled to Concord, NC, with Debbie and Ruth, two of my Olathe Bible Church cohorts, to the "She Speaks" conference with no expectations and a sore neck. I came home with loads of information and tools to use in our Women's Ministry from the breakout sessions. I came home refreshed by Cheri Keaggy's worship times. I came home with the utterly unexpected gift of a prayer partner who lives in North Carolina. I came home completely broken and at the same time renewed and encouraged and challenged by the God-messages given by the keynote speakers.

I also came home with lots of great memories and the knowledge that because of this shared experience, my relationship with my cohorts has been moved to a new and deeper level. We laughed together, cried together, and prayed together. (Laughter = Debbie telling me she should have brought her scissors so she could cut my hair - I just got a haircut! And Ruth admiring my flat toes.)

I still have so much to process. But I am struck by the notion that the term "she speaks" means something different for each of us as women. We are not all "speakers" in the traditional sense, although some are. Some speak to God on our behalf. Some speak mercy and compassion into our lives. Some boldly speak truth to us even when it hurts. Some speak by hugging us and wiping away our tears. Some speak by holding us accountable. Some speak through writing, music, art. Some speak by teaching. Some speak by not speaking at all, only listening. But hasn't God given us all a way to "speak" His glory and love and realness to each other? Do we hold back sometimes because we don't speak the same way as those we admire? Are we willing to let God speak through us in the way HE planned all along? Or do we resist, feeling unworthy, unwise, unmerciful, unequipped, or some other "un" label we give ourselves? When we speak according to His will for us, He moves.

One of the most powerful takeaways for me was the challenge to remember my "first love" for Jesus. How did I think? How did I pray? How did I act, in private and in public? How starved I was for His word and teaching. Life happens. I grew and learned and changed. And I drifted. Not too far - I can still see the shoreline. But I realize that I've been focused more on my ministry than on my God. Time to return. My ministry is only effective when my eyes are on Him. Not just in the quiet space each morning with my Bible and my journal, but in all the moments of my days.

And he serves. Who? My husband. I received so many encouraging and loving text messages when I was gone, the last one asking "what will you need when you get home?" I walked into a clean house, a pantry full of groceries, and the arms of the one who hates to be separated from me but loves me enough to send me out. He speaks - straight to my heart, a human reminder to me of the God who does the same.

angie lately

2010-07-27T10:49:00.000-05:00

WARNING: WHINING AHEAD!

So much has happened since my last post. I found myself yet again in physical pain, this time from a herniated disc in my neck that caused a lot of upper back pain and "I just hit my crazy bone" type nerve pain from my shoulder to fingertips in my left arm, no reflexes and significant weakness. I finally went to the doctor, expecting a pinched nerve or something along those lines, only to be sent for an MRI and straight to a neurosurgeon (whom I have seen before and completely trust to be very conservative). Imagine my surprise when, after he looked at my MRI and examining me, that he recommended surgery, right away.

So to surgery I went. He found that my disc had broken into pieces (HOW does that happen? I can remember no event, fall, etc. that would cause this, other than the slip in the pool that caused the elbow thing, but that was two years ago). It disintegrated when he tried to remove it. Had to use a "dremmel tool" to dig it all out of there - that still sort of creeps me out. It was replaced with a piece of cadaver bone (ok that also creeps me out a little) and screwed in a titanium plate across the two vertebrae and the new-to-me bone. I went home in a soft collar to be worn around the clock and a five pound weight limit. Five pounds! My purse weighs more than that! After three weeks, I returned for an xray and post surgical exam, and happily learned that the bones are starting to fuse. Still in the collar, but weaning off at home.

Unexpected, however, was the fact that he had to move my esophagus (they went in through my neck) and couldn't swallow solid food for almost two weeks. Bonus: 10 pounds, bye bye. Most surprising to me has been the extreme fatigue that still, six weeks later, plagues me. I have had to seriously limit my activities, which does not sit well with me!

So it's been a rough go, and I've no idea how much longer the malaise will last. I wallowed in my disappointment and frustration, frankly it still overwhelms me at times. Especially since I seem to be on the "a surgery a year" plan, after last summer's elbow drama. I'm struggling with disappointment at another summer gone by with seeing few of my hopes and plans come to fruition. GRANDKIDS! My two biggest ones are starting school in just a few weeks and of course it's harder to plan time with them once the school year gets going.

I've learned some things, important things. How to receive ... we had meals brought in for a solid three weeks, people helping clean and run errands, visitors that definitely helped my "mental" health. I've had a lot of reflection time (a LOT!) and have realized that I'm BAD at receiving. And at the core of that, in all reality, is pride. My nemesis. I am so thankful to all those people who have loved me so well and continue to do so.

And then there's the patience thing again. The doctor gave me a recovery window of 2 weeks to 4 months (!) and of course to me that meant two weeks. So here I sit six weeks out still napping every day!

I've had lots of time for reflection - slowing down to the point of thinking instead of just doing. No fires to put out, no demands on my time or emotions, other than what I put on myself of course. It's been good to rediscover and remember the things I am really passionate about from a ministry standpoint, and SO good to spend uninterrupted, no-time-limit time with the Lord.

I know this season will not be wasted ... I must continue to actively fight the frustration and discouragement! So I plod forward, slowly but surely, resting when I need to and taking care of the basics. Speaking of resting ... nap straight ahead! Happier blogs to come.

Tone of voice ...

2010-03-24T09:16:00.000-05:00

So it turns out that all the best stories from our trip to Lincoln cannot be blogged. Tone of voice and facial expression, at a minimum, are required to convey them well ... and with me probably lots of hand gestures as well!

The kids were great, the time was relaxing and fun, and I'm so glad we went! Thursday we spent time with Kari and her two littles, Wyatt and O.J., walking and feeding the ducks and playing on the playground and winding down (or winding up, depending on who we're talking about) at Red Robin for lunch. There was a minor problem surrounding the Red Robin balloons when it was time to buckle into car seats, but Mom-of-the-Year quickly solved it by telling them if they didn't settle in the balloons would go out the window. End of problem.

The kids were amazingly good on the drives up and back - Christa has discovered an incredible combination of dramamine (they DO get carsick, really) and movies on the laptop. Result - half-comatose and/or sleeping children and much quiet while we drive. Very nice.

The highlight was definitely watching this movie. That's a lie. It was the worst movie I've seen in a very long time, despite Christa's assurances that it was "really sweet." I'm pretty sure it should be renamed "Bitter October." Ridiculous. The only good thing is that she was really embarrassed by the end of it.

I'll post the rest of my pictures on facebook - there's some cute ones in there!

Stay tuned ...

2010-03-16T21:50:00.000-05:00

Road trip!! Christa and I are going to Lincoln with the kiddos tomorrow for a couple of days, to visit her in-laws, all of whom I adore. Yes, we're leaving J.R. here. Weird? Maybe. But I'm happy to be going in his stead! I'm sure to come home with good stories and pictures to match.

punch me in the face ...

2010-03-06T21:00:00.000-06:00

I'm returning to my childhood again - who remembers these dudes? Much aggression was taken out in this little ring at our house! I remember it being set up on my mom's sewing board in our basement and of course we had to have tournaments since there were three of us. Being rather uncoordinated children, there were some pretty wild rounds, and I seem to remember a lot of yelling and screaming, and perhaps the whole thing degenerating into a real-life knock-down drag out.

Always learning

2010-03-03T06:18:00.001-06:00

Lexi learned (and of course explained ad nauseum) the purpose and function of title pages in books recently. Mason is becoming a little master of his bicycle ... I suspect his training wheels may be coming off well before Lexi's. Callie has learned how to pout masterfully - that little lip sticks out so far it's ridiculous!

Me? I'm learning a few things these days too. Like I can stop reading a book if I'm not enjoying it. And it's ok to say no to things that overload me - even if I didn't think that thing was an overloader. Also, I almost ALWAYS undercook rice ... what is that about? Why don't the package directions work? This is a biggie - I get seriously wound up about stuff that shouldn't rob my energy, mental or otherwise ... "be anxious for nothing ..." ... well, I'm learning. Perhaps a "BFO" (blinding flash of the obvious), but an intricate, detailed budget, while time consuming, really does work, and frankly brings freedom I never would have expected.

Time is strange. Sometimes it flies by so fast I can hardly remember what day it is, let alone the actual date. But this week it is crawling, creeping, slugging along ... maybe because I keep getting up at 4:30 a.m.? Hmm. That could explain it. Of course this also makes it hard for me to remember what day it is ...

Long dreary snowy cold winters make my mouth water for spring. Easy warm winters? Well, I hardly even notice the transition.

Doing one load of laundry a day, while easier than doing it all at once, never gives the satisfaction that totally empty laundry baskets do.

I'm still pondering, post-Sunday, the notion that there is much opportunity in suffering. I have always been taught that suffering is inevitable for Christians, but more from the standpoint that we must expect it and withstand it ... now I'm presented with the idea that there is opportunity for witness, especially, in how I handle suffering. My heart tells me this is a big lesson while my head is still trying to wind around it.

OH ... this is nothing I've newly learned, but am recalling daily now as the excitement builds - I LOVE MARCH MADNESS!

Paybacks and gravy

2010-02-22T16:08:00.000-06:00

Join me in a tour of my home after 3/4 of a day with the kids ...

And guess what?! They're still here, so I could improve on this if I really wanted to! The good news is that, like it or not, they WILL clean it all up before they go home!

After lunch today Lexi asked if they could do a "food experiment." I started to say no, just because ... well, just because that was my first reaction, I guess. But I thought, what the heck, the worst that can happen is a mess, so we went for it. They asked for water, flour, salt, pepper and garlic salt. Well, once they mixed up the sloppy mess it dawned on me that they basically had the ingredients for white gravy ... so we cooked it up.

For dipping, Mason chose toast and Lexi chose barbecue potato chips. Mind you, they used a LOT (and I do mean a lot) of garlic salt, so it was entirely disgusting, but they manned up and ate quite a bit of it, proclaiming that it was "better than Grama's"! Whatever that means ... Mom, if that's true, you might want to work on your gravy!

Oh and yes, of course it was a disastrous mess. I spared you the pictures.

Weighing in

2010-02-20T20:16:00.000-06:00

So we weighed our giNORmous cat today, and he weighs 15 pounds. That's like two babies!! A friend suggested after seeing his picture on Facebook that he might be a Maine Coon - and oh boy after googling the creature I'm pretty sure she's right! They are referred to as "gentle giants" ... and although he is very even-tempered for a cat, he is not very gentle when he head-butts me for attention, or launches himself from the floor to the armrest to the top of my recliner, usually pushing me backwards what feels like two feet.

We got to go to the KU/Colorado game today - it was marvelous to be back in Allen Fieldhouse. It's been years since we've been, and so much has changed, but the electrically-charged atmosphere is just the same. It's an all-sensory experience, for sure ... right down to the older lady who insisted on sharing my seat with me. (We were on benches, and she just couldn't get the hang of sitting ON her number, but rather sat between hers and mine. We were almost married by the end of the game.)

Christa and J went to Lincoln to see family this weekend, and asked us to look after their super-cute beagle/something dog Bentley. So we went over last night to feed him and let him out, and got a little ornery. We rearranged some things in the kitchen, changed all the clocks by six hours, switched all the stuff on the tops of their vanities (J's stuff on Christa's and vice versa), put Callie's potty training chair on their toilet, and last and best, we short-sheeted their bed. So far she's found everything except the bed ... as I type I'm expecting an indignant call any moment. Very amusing, I must say ... and good for the budget, as it was definitely free entertainment.

Lexi apparently said to Christa, "UGH! Why did your parents do this??" Which TOTALLY makes me laugh because this is the child that rearranges entire rooms every time she visits.

Mason is honing his handyman skills by removing the screws from the kiddie chairs during "naptime" at preschool - he's done it twice now, and hides them under his blanket. LOL! The second time Brenda (my friend and his teacher) told him to put them back and he just grinned that Mason grin and said, "But I don't know how!" To which she replied, "That's not my problem! You better figure it out!" Apparently he did, at least to some degree. Greg and I figure he's going to take over House Calls some day!

Dilly Bread and other such things

2010-02-17T10:51:00.000-06:00

I think I've probably posted this before, but it is my most favorite bread!! The credit goes to my mother-in-law, Pat, who gave me the recipe years ago.

DILLY BREAD
Pat Clayton

1 pkg dry yeast
¼ c warm water
1 c cottage cheese
2 T sugar
1 T minced onion
1 T butter
2 t dill weed
1 t salt
½ t baking soda
1 unbeaten egg
2 ½ c flour

Soften yeast in ¼ c warm water. Heat cottage cheese to lukewarm; add sugar, onion, butter, dill weed and salt. Beat egg in large bowl; add cheese mixture, soda and yeast. Add flour to make a soft dough.

Let mixture rise in warm place until double, about 1 hour. Stir down; turn into 2 well-greased bread pans. Let rise in warm place 40 minutes. Bake until golden brown at 350* (30-45 mins). Spread butter and salt on top of loaf.

---

Today's a baking/cooking day. It's cold outside (no kidding, huh?), I'm home all day, and I've been "getting by" with easy meals for long enough. Think I'll do some parmesan chicken and baked parmesan potatoes. Too much parmesan, you ask? No such thing. The potatoes are divine ... I'll post that recipe too if anyone wants it.

Life is clicking along. Work is still going well, and retreat planning is moving at a good pace. We did have one small hiccup when our speaker had to cancel, but amazingly God provided a pair of women to take her place that I am so excited about - Nancy Moser and Brenda Josee. Their material fits perfectly with our theme, "Free to Be Me," and they were available the weekend we needed them. This all fell into place in a matter of days ... how's that for "coincidence"? :)

I miss my littles - haven't seen enough of them lately. Lexi took quite the spill the other day ... her version of what happened: "My toe slipped under my foot and I stepped on it and fell down!" Poor little urchin, she is most certainly blood of my blood. Despite the fact that her middle name is Grace, physical grace is definitely not one of her finest attributes! Or mine ... or Christa's ... or Linda's ... sorry guys, but the truth hurts.

Brandon is still plugging away looking for more work in San Diego, but thankfully he has found a great group of Christian guys to live with and fellowship with - the community he's been missing so much since he finished The Race.

Christa looks super cute in her "police" uniform (sans weapons of course) ... I would have thought 'super cute' and 'police uniform' to be mutually exclusive, but she pulls it off. :)

Off I go ... laundry to fold and bread to bake!

Tasks or People? People or Tasks?

2010-02-11T07:30:00.000-06:00

I've had a mixed up week, not in a bad way, just in that I have been pretty evenly divided between spending my time with people and spending it working at "tasks." I used to be almost exclusively task oriented - give me a job to do, and I'll "git 'er done"! But I think that was to the exclusion of relationships. I've always heard that we all have a tendency toward one or the other, and I would have always said I was bent toward tasks. The more I look back over the past year or so, especially the last six months, I am thinking that has changed, and for the good. Of course I'm still all about details and task completion (HEL-LO!) but I am spending more and more time talking, listening, sometimes counseling, but generally just building relationships with other women. And I've found that I love love love getting real with each other - none of this fake surface-level relating for me, let's get down to what matters, right? I think God is balancing my scales, in this arena at least, and it feels good!

Banner day!

2010-02-08T19:46:00.000-06:00

What a great day. I was up early, exercised even longer than I planned (when has THAT ever happened before? I could stop right there!), vacuumed early (another almost-never ... I hate vacuuming), and worked a little via e-mail. I ran my errands, including picking up a book I had on hold at the library - "Healing Water" by Nancy Rue and Stephen Arterburn. This is the second book in the "Sullivan Crisp" series, and while I'm not far enough into this one yet to know for sure, the first one (Healing Stones) was absolutely terrific. As much as I read, it takes something pretty special for me to recommend a book this highly!

Anyway, my afternoon suddenly stretched out in front of me, so I grabbed up Lexi from school and we hung out. I picked up her Easy Bake Oven from her house, and we set to work making sugar cookies. The oven had to "preheat" for 15 minutes - I had no idea a lightbulb runs this thing. Meanwhile Lexi mixed the batter - a packet of mix + 3/4 tsp of water. That alone should tell you how little dough actually resulted. We split it between the two pans, then cooked the first one. For 10 minutes. Then it had to cool in the "cooling bin" for 10 minutes. Then we put the other one in. And cooked for 10, then cooled for 10. Do the math here, folks, it took 55 minutes to make TWO cookies. They crumbled coming out of the pan, and were generally disgusting. We cook together almost every time she comes over, and I'm thinking we'll go back to the old-fashioned way, which takes much less time and produces several dozen delicious cookies! She actually lost interest as soon as the dough was mixed, so her attention was captured for approximately 2 of the 55 minutes. So look out girl, we're back to reading recipes and learning fractions next time you're here!

Last weekend at a conference, I picked up a book called "The Princess and The Kiss." It is a beautiful story of how God gave the princess' parents her first kiss to be held until she was grown up. Then they pass it on to the princess, with the encouragement to save it for the man she will marry. Many suitors come to her, but she saves the kiss and dismisses them all (for various good reasons), until she meets the farmer who loves her just for her and has saved his own kiss for her. Needless to say, they share their kisses at the wedding and live happily ever after. There is a companion book for boys, "The Squire and The Scroll," that I haven't seen but suspect is just as good. It was a great way to dialogue with her, even at six years old, about how precious her kisses are and how important it is to save them. (We did talk about the difference between the kiss in the story and the kisses she shares with mommy and daddy, etc.) She re-told the story to Papa with surprising accuracy when he got home, so it seemed to make an impression on her.

Then we got her library books out of her backpack. One of them was for her to read to me, and the other I read to her. Hers was about a garden, and how some veggies and fruits grow above ground and some grow below the ground ... one page had a picture of a mole (and various other critters) burrowing around under the ground, and she said, "Did you know moles are nocturnal?" I might have known that, I'm not really sure.

We played Chinese Checkers, Uno, Go Fish, and Old Maid for a couple of hours. She won some and lost some - remarkably, she's a very good loser!

Of course there were a couple of cartoons and some art thrown in for good measure. I love the special bond I have with this child, different from the special bond I have with each of the other two - hard to explain but oh so true.

And last but not least, we had chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner! How's THAT for undoing the hard work on the treadmill this morning!

Baby steps

2010-02-06T09:02:00.000-06:00

Nothing momentus going on ... just found this picture from the last time the kids were here and got a little pang from seeing how big the shoes and coats are getting, and the fact that Callie already has to have her own backpack. I'm also amused by the way they line everything up so neatly on my stairs - OCD rules!!

How 'bout this chick?

2010-01-30T20:59:00.001-06:00

Since we're talking "vintage" toys ... anyone else have this gal in their doll arsenal? Being blessed with brothers instead of sisters, I spent more time playing Jane to their Johnny West than I ever did with Barbies. Wish I still had this old girl ... the "boxed set" is selling on e-bay for $95.00!!

And if we're being honest, I probably didn't "play" with her any more than I had to - only when pressured beyond sanity by my brothers - I would always have preferred to be reading. What a dork!

My brother Chris and I were just talking about Johnny and Jane the other day - he and Mike recently found their Johnny West guys, but alas, Jane was absent, and all of Johnny's joints had dissolved so that when they tried to move the arms or legs they just fell off. Very sad.

Clackers

2010-01-29T22:05:00.000-06:00

Anybody besides me remember this thrilling yet lethal toy? "Clackers are the toy with a jillion names. It was essentially two large marbles attached by a sturdy string with a ring in the center. You would put your finger in the ring allowing the marbles or balls to hang below. Here is where the fun starts. The idea was to get the two balls tapping (or clacking if you prefer) against each other by pulling up on the ring lightly. Once you got the hang of it, you could get them going faster and faster until they were smacking each other above and below your hand in a stunning arc." (http://www.bigredtoybox.com/)

Now, I have to say that while I coveted this toy, really really really wanted one, because of course all the cool kids had them, I could never really get the hang of it. Definitely never figured out how to perfect the "stunning arc." In fact, my most successful attempts resulted in the two balls actually swinging apart and then tapping back together (not missing each other like usual) in a slow, tick-tock, tick-tock fashion.

For MOST kids these things were easily turned into weapons. While everyone was obviously safe from me, due to my stupendous lack of coordination, I dared not let my brothers get their hands on them! Apparently they were pulled from the market in the 1970's due to shattered teeth, broken eye sockets, and the explosion of one or both of the balls when they "clacked" together too hard. The explosion factor was the fate of Greg's Clackers, and anyone in his family, even if they don't remember it, could have predicted it!

And to think they wanted to recall those little hamster thingies that were so big this Christmas! Goodness.

I just have to say ...

2010-01-28T19:04:00.000-06:00

... that this getting old business is for the birds. My poor back ... my twisted ankle ... my sore achilles tendon ... an elbow that can predict cold weather ... arthritis in my big toe and my thumb ... going to bed at 9:00 p.m. and waking up at 5:30 a.m. ... meds for high blood pressure ... yikes. If this is what happens at 45, then what will ... well, LATER be like?

Then again, this getting old business means I have VERY productive mornings, which is good. And those extra pounds, well, I just chalk them up to middle age. And the empty nest, that's a pretty good deal, trust me. I read a lot, and don't feel guilty. I work a little, and don't feel guilty. I eat too much, and I only feel a LITTLE guilty.

And of course (you had to know this was coming) tea parties, endless reading, board games, art projects galore, lego creations, hot wheels races, and all those other fun things that come with grandparenting. Now that we know that our every decision won't ruin the child for life, it's WAY more fun!

So after all that whining, I'll keep the bad back, sore this 'n' that, arising before the dawn, and all that other stuff - as it turns out, the trade off is totally worth it!!

Scrapbooking update

2010-01-24T07:14:00.000-06:00

So guess what? In this 20-hour event, I managed to get about 12 recipes typed. The rest of the time I wandered around talking, for the most part ... but it was fun and these ladies are incredible in their dedication to the sport and the creativity they have. I'm a little jealous, even, but my good friend Jennifer made me feel better when she brought a book the second day! Not a scrapbook, just a book to read. LOL - thanks Jen!

Totally off topic, but I read/heard somewhere that you can print off your blog? Is it as simple as hitting the print button at the top of the page or is there a better way? I realized that I've been writing here since 2006 - so much history there, I'd love to have it as a "book." Maybe that's my scrapbook replacement? There. I feel better already.

Time ...

2010-01-20T20:26:00.000-06:00

It gets away from me. I had the kids the last two Mondays, and oh the joy. Mid-morning this Monday Callie came up and flung herself into my lap and laid her runny-nosed head right on my shoulder. She stayed. I let her. Even though I knew it just meant she needed to go down for a nap, I pretended otherwise and just hung on to her sweet self for awhile.

Lexi is turning into quite the packrat. She has a desk here now, ostensibly for her art supplies, but the top two drawers are filled with her 'really special things.' She brings more every time she comes over - as of now they contain a random set of keys (anyone lost theirs?), several baby pictures that her mother probably doesn't even know are missing, a couple of marbles, a Coca-Cola badge, the cloth bag that contained some coffee B.J. brought back from Guatemala, a plastic bear, a random piece of green glittery wrapping paper, and her favorite book, "My Pretty Kitten," which is a baby book that she has memorized and could read herself anyway, but which we read before bed every time she spends the night.

I was talking to Mason and Lexi on speakerphone today, and Lexi was telling me about her pillow pet thing that she got for Christmas, and I reminded her that I was there on Christmas morning when she got it. Mason: "So were you the one who came down the chimney?" Um, no.

I'm going to a scrapbooking event at the church this weekend with roughly 150 other women. Don't laugh. I know. I'm hopeless at this sort of thing, and big crowds make my heart beat fast. BUT I HAVE A PLAN! I'm working on typing up all my often-used recipes, printing them, encasing them in plastic protectors, and putting them in a nifty new binder my friend Amy got me for Christmas. And several friends will be there, so it is likely that I will do more talking than typing anyway.

I'm really loving my job. Really. I work with great people, and it feels like a really good fit. Right now planning is in full swing for our April retreat, "Free to Be Me," about how to be content with how God made you and who He made you to be. It's shaping up to be a pretty great weekend, if I do say so myself. I get to teach Bible study on Thursday mornings, and I've been with the same group of gals since September going through the book "Boundaries." It is dynamic, life-changing stuff, and very hard work. These are my favorite two and a half hours of my week, I think. We have traveled enough trails together to be real, and honest, and vulnerable, and authentic with each other, and that is a marvelous thing in a day and age where we hide behind our respective masks because of fear or shame or simply not feeling safe.

And hey, KU is playing some pretty darned good basketball these days, right?

Not much, how about you?

2010-01-10T15:20:00.004-06:00

Well, there's just not much going on worth reporting. But I haven't posted in too many days, so I'll dredge my memory and see what I can find from the last week or so.

Cold. COLD COLD COLD! My cats won't stay off me, keep trying to creep under the blanket when I'm in my recliner, cold little feet parked on my legs. Lots of snowblowing, too ... not by me of course.

Fun sleepover with Lexi ... an interminably long game of Monopoly that ended when she got bored and started fooling around. Thank the stars! I was about to lose my mind.

Missed our Bible study on Thursday as it was cancelled due to weather. The break has been too long, ladies, don't you agree? Anxious to get back to it this week.

Determined to get back on the treadmill. Determination was made some time ago; actual follow-through started today.

Callie fell against the bathtub and split her lip - had to get three stitches, one of which she ripped out on the way home from the ER due to excessive screaming.

A dear friend became an overnight Mama ... sweet Sadie will be adopted into their already-family-of-seven, now eight, soon, Lord willing.

I am totally frustrated with my inability to keep my calendars synced between home and work. I think I need one of those phones that will do it for me, because double-booking and/or forgetting appointments is just not cool.

Brandon found a permanent residence, living with Dan (from the Race) and a number of other Christian guys. He sounds happy to be living in community again. And I suspect it will be very good for his heart.

What else? There is surely more; however, the Jayhawks are about to play, so I'm calling it a blog.

Carnivore?

2010-01-02T09:27:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! We rang in the new year at Christa's house with a crowd of my favorite people - my side of the family and Kirk and Brenda and family. The kids were great - in fact Lexi actually made it to midnight! So did I, incidentally, which is the first time in recent memory that has happened. :)

Yesterday we spent the afternoon with a crowd of more of my favorite people and celebrated Christmas with the Claytons. It was chaotic fun too, and once again the kids were so good! It's amazing to see all the cousins growing up so fast.

Somehow I forgot to take my camera to all of these gatherings, so sadly I have none to post.

Recovering this weekend - hoping to sleep enough to catch up for all the late nights and fun times.

So I'll leave you with this from Lexi, announced at lunch yesterday to the whole table: "If I was I dinosaur, I'd want to be a T-Rex, because they're carnivores and I LIKE MEAT!" A girl after my own heart.

Speechless

2009-12-23T14:17:00.000-06:00

I've been reading in Ezekiel for awhile, and up until the end of Chapter 16, God is basically telling Israel of all the destruction that will come upon them for turning their backs on him, worshipping idols, and their lack of "moral" behavior.

Suddenly, at the end of Chapter 16, he says, "All the same, I'll remember the covenant I made with you when you were young and I'll make a new covenant with you that will last forever ... You'll remember your past life and face the shame of it, but when I make atonement for you, make everything right after all you've done, it will leave you speechless.

Indeed. This Old Testament, pre-Jesus writing tells of the atonement to come, to right my wrongs, and it truly does leave me speechless. He is just, and he is jealous, yet he loved me so much he had a perfect plan to solve my problem - he sent Jesus to pay for my sin. A Savior is born!

Merry Christmas.

Hot water

2009-12-18T16:27:00.000-06:00

Mason: Do you have a hot water heater?

Me: Huh? (Distracted but also thinking he doesn't have any idea what he's asking me, really.)

Mason: Do you have hot water in this house?

Me: Yes.

Mason: Well, then you MUST have a hot water heater somewhere!!

And we do. It's in that closet he's not supposed to play in! Huh.

I can see clearly now ...

2009-12-11T17:35:00.000-06:00

After 4 1/2 years of perfect vision, due to the amazing and wonderful Lasik surgery, I now have a pair of glasses on my face. Getting old is a bummer. I'm a little disappointed, but shouldn't I just be thankful for the years without them? Yes. I must say it is rather surprising to see things I didn't realize I was missing. Maybe they make me LOOK smart? Hey maybe they'll MAKE me smarter!

The Reindeer Pokey

2009-12-08T15:40:00.000-06:00

One of the highlight's of Mason's preschool program today ... so much fun! With rare exceptions he was almost mute, which I didn't expect AT ALL!

Yummmmmmmmmmm

2009-12-05T16:23:00.000-06:00

Hot chocolate and a game of Parcheesi on a cold winter's day!

Mason-isms

2009-12-04T13:05:00.001-06:00

Life according to Mason:

1) He wants to marry Brenda. He doesn't think Kirk will mind.
2) When asked what a baby cow is called, he thought for a moment and said, "George. I'm pretty sure it's George."
3) He told Papa he needed to go to bed, or he'd be "super cwanky."
4) When leaving to go get Lexi from school, he said, "Mommy hurry up! You've got nothing to lose!" (This might speak to Mommy's speeding tendencies partly due to her no-consequences relationship with the Olathe PD!)
5) He's got a Christmas program coming up at school - according to my unnamed source, he is usually a verse ahead of everyone else and singing the loudest of all. Can't WAIT!! Hopefully will get video to post.
6) While playing the game "Trouble" he is only interested in pounding the plastic bubble as hard as humanly possible. Since he has no concept of how the game is played, he cocks his throwing arm, slams it down on the bubble, then looks around and says, "What am I doing?" Every time.
7) Brenda was driving him home from school one day, and passed a policeman. She said, "Oh look Mason, a policeman! He might be one of Mommy's friends!" Mason: "I dunno - is he ugly?"

Gotta wonder how kindergarten will go for this comedian!

It's all in the little things ...

2009-12-01T17:48:00.000-06:00

I love this verse: "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse." (Philippians 4:8, The Message.)

Isn't it so easy to focus on the hard/bad/ugly things? In this season of sickness, holiday weird-ness, dark-comes-too-early (darn that daylight savings time), and helping dear friends to carry enormous burdens that frankly seem impossible to bear, I've found myself "litanizing" (thanks Lisa for the new word - I love it) the negatives. And in the process, failing to even notice the positives, let alone fill my mind with them.

I've often recommended to others that they keep a "joy journal" - some sort of written record of the beautiful, good, life-giving things that happen on any given day. So here's a few of the things that gave me joy in the past few days.

Finding the perfect Christmas gift for Lexi, online, for a great price and without having to leave my recliner!

Pumpkin spice candle - the next best thing to baking something yummy.

Rotel for dinner. One of many pleasures of an empty nest.

Walking upstairs and finding my bed made.

Discovering an old and beautiful treasure in my Christmas boxes.

Hearing the garage door go up unexpectedly in the middle of the day and having my husband walk in just to hang out with me for a few minutes.

OK no laughing at this one ... but this is the recycling bin that was delivered this week. My left brain is working overtime as I'm sorting what can go in, what has to go into the regular trash bin, and how much our actual trash output will be decreased by the addition of this beauty to our garage. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Probably none of these things are "compelling," noble" or "gracious." But it feels good to fill my mind with the happy little things instead of the big unhappy ones - what brought you joy today?

Proof positive

2009-11-28T15:20:00.001-06:00

Those of you that know me well know I have a decidedly "bah-humbug" attitude when it comes to decorating for Christmas. I think it started the year we moved out of our Clinton house - I just didn't feel the urge. Worse, I didn't wanna. And then over the past few years I got out of the habit, purposefully I suppose. Now I have decorated half-heartedly a few times (under duress I must add), but today we cranked up the Christmas music and went to town. SO I thought I should take a moment and prove that I actually did get over my listless, I-don't-give-a-care approach to making my house look and smell like all things Christmas, at least for this year!

I may have to update these pictures after the cats have had time to adjust and/or the kids come over the next time ... rearrangements are almost sure to take place! Merry Christmas!

Giving thanks

2009-11-27T07:02:00.000-06:00

I think yesterday was the strangest-feeling Thanksgiving I've had. It was hard to pinpoint just what felt so weird and off. Yes, there was the fact that Brandon was in San Diego, alone, all day. And Christa had to stay here and work while the rest of her family went to Lincoln to see J.R.'s family. And there were only six of us at Mom's Thanksgiving table. And for some reason all the "Black Friday" news was just so irritating to me this year. And Greg and I went to Walmart and got groceries last night - Thanksgiving night!!

But the more I thought and talked to Greg about it, I realized I'm mostly just nostalgic. The Thanksgivings I remember from my childhood were all day events that included every single member of the family (and then some), because we all lived in the same town. The food array was predictably enormous, and we never stopped eating all day long. We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade every year, looking forward to it like we looked forward to Christmas morning ... almost. And the most startling difference is that there were no stores open. None. No convenience stores, grocery stores, of course no fast food or restaurants or retail stores. There was no missing the fact that it was Thanksgiving!

So that is what I finally came down to ... it would be really easy to just skip over Thanksgiving entirely. Our families are all spread out and the whole retail and news world not only keeps moving but ramps into overdrive. I didn't even think about the parade - I assume it was on yesterday??

I miss those simpler times! My age is showing for sure ... nostalgia is creeping in ... and having said all of that I'm so thankful that our little piece of the family celebrated together yesterday with traditional food, football, and games. I am also thankful, however, for the wonderful memories I have from Thanksgivings gone by.

Get your head in the game!

2009-11-23T13:12:00.000-06:00

First of all, a big WOOT for the Kansas City Chiefs' win yesterday!

We had the kiddos Saturday night for awhile, and I caught all three of them working intently at something they love:

Awhile ago I taught Lexi the basics of reading music, and she has retained it amazingly well! She is so cute plucking out the little songs in her beginner book, and so proud of herself when she "hears" that it is right. This time she caught the concept of a half note vs. a quarter note, and was correctly holding the half notes (roughly) twice as long as the quarter notes. Keep reading, you'll hear her doing improv in the video at the end of this post.

One of Mason's claims to fame is the (OCD?) lining up of his cars ... he focuses on this to the exclusion of all other things, especially instructions from anyone who is the boss of him. He is QUITE effective at tuning out Callie, until she destroys something he has built, then his focus is lasered in on her in that way that only brothers seem to master ... screeching and pushing and stomping his feet ... one of these days he will learn that that usually gets him in more trouble that she caused him in the first place.

And Callie Anne, messy curly headed dolly that she is, stuffing dominoes in the fanny pack. She and Papa spent a fair amount of time working on this project! One of the feet on her pajamas has a big-toe-sized hole in it, and everytime that little big toe poked out of there she would freeze and yell "PRETTY!" because there is just a sliver of toenail polish left on it from eons ago.

This is my favorite picture of the night actually - this calendar gets more attention than anything else in my house. And this particular version reflects my scattered brain pretty well these days!

I'm pretty sure today is June March October 36th.

Just like it takes 400, um, 36, I mean 950 hours to get to Lincoln, according to Mason.

And the grand finale ... Papa giving Callie a ride with chaos all around!

Trying to store up these hours and moments, for I know they are precious and fleeting.

Sick days

2009-11-20T17:11:00.000-06:00

I know it's time to post again, but 1) I can't top Brenda Beautiful, and 2) I've been sick for a week and my brain is not functioning well enough to be insightful, witty or any of those other things I can't think of right now that make for good blog posts. Back soon.

Brenda Beautiful

2009-11-18T07:12:00.001-06:00

My sweet friend Brenda has a birthday tomorrow. She and I have been through the grinder together ... we met when a young foster son of ours (Branden - who remembers him? Funny kid.) noticed them moving in and stopped to help. Thus the new-neighbor gift exchange ensued ... I think I sent some bread over with a note, and she sent back cookies with a note. We realized quickly that we had much in common, and here we are, some five years later.

Our friendship did go through the wilderness, and we were completely estranged for a long painful period of time. I mention this only as an encouragement and a witness to the fact that God is bigger than we are. He not only healed our relationship, but has knitted us together with unbreakable ties ... kind of like those zip-tie things the toy companies use to hold your child's precious gift tight to the packaging, that is nearly impossible to remove? Well she is the gift and I am the packaging most of the time, and no one's pocket knife or scissors can cut through these ties.

She is sweet, encouraging, a gifted teacher of pre-schoolers (this alone gives her the right to wear the crown in the picture above), strong, steady, and passionate about her faith and her service. She has a wicked sense of humor and is also the source of much entertainment for me, some of it unintentional ... like when she doesn't get my jokes and and I have to explain them to her, or when she talks to me on facebook after taking Nyquil, or when I take her out in public. For a knee-slappingly-funny story in this vein, click here.

She will HATE that I'm posting all about her. Which is a good enough reason to do it. But really, I just want to say, Happy Birthday my friend - I love you!!

.

Are we there yet?

2009-11-16T16:24:00.000-06:00

Not a shocking story. But funny. Apparently J.R. kept a tally of Lexi's questions on the trip they took this weekend ... a whopping 209 questions in three hours! According to my calculations, that's 1.16 questions per minute. Very impressive.

I'm actually more surprised and amused that J.R. kept track of them than the fact that she asked them.

Yum-o!

2009-11-16T07:35:00.000-06:00

DELICIOUS!

Dinner was a great success last night! Baked potato soup in a bread bowl ... good stuff! If you want recipes, go back to October 16th and 17th of 2006 - I posted them WAAAY back then and found them this weekend when scrolling back through pictures of the kids. They were so little when I started this blogging adventure - had some good laughs and remembered some poignant moments. If you're a blogger, I highly recommend going back and re-reading some of those old old posts!

Have a wonderful week.

My favorite things

2009-11-14T09:11:00.001-06:00

Lexi is going to Lincoln with her daddy today, just the two of them, to visit his family. She is super excited about seeing her cousins - she told me yesterday has "lots of them, I think 24!" and frankly she may be right. Kuchtas, anyone have an exact count?

So Christa goes upstairs to start packing Lexi's overnight bag, and finds that Lexi already has a head start. She is forever bringing her "very special things" over here with her, to remind her of home, she says. (We are a whole block away after all ....) So I was not surprised to hear that her bag was already packed with:

1) An 8x10 picture frame, one of those name and birthday things that tells what her name means and all the stuff that was going on in the world the day she was born ...
2) Her prayer rock
3) A two dollar bill
4) Four pennies
5) A 3 foot-square poster that has to go back to school on Monday
6) Two "guys" - her favorite stuffed animals.

A fine collection of necessary items for any trip, don't you think?

What's the Point??

2009-11-12T18:47:00.000-06:00

A new blogger asked me today, "What is the point of blogging?" Can anyone answer that better than I did? It's pretty much just my selfish way of getting my grandkids and their funny, sweet stories out there for all the world to see, and to get the stuff out of my head that keeps me awake at night. :) I'm sure there are MUCH better reasons ...

Peace

2009-11-11T06:43:00.000-06:00

I had a sweet young friend tell me a story last night. He talked about the wonder and seeming impossibility of experiencing complete peace while being completely heartbroken. He spoke of the paradox, and the difficulty of explaining it to others, even believers. He reminded me that we often think that peace and pain are mutually exclusive. And then he described how, in the midst of this driving thunderstorm, his questions about God and for God, and his excruciating sadness, God has gifted him with peace. The peace that truly passes understanding. The peace that makes no sense, and is beyond our comprehension. The ability to experience joy in the wake of trials he never in his wildest dreams he expected to face.

What a reminder it was to me of the beautiful complexity of our Lord, and a reminder that we experience no pain that He hasn't experienced before us and that He doesn't experience with us. And yet, while we still feel the heartbrokenness, He holds us close to Him, and gives us a peace and yes, even joy, that cannot be attained from any other source. Blessed be His name!

Equal Time

2009-11-10T20:47:00.001-06:00

Here are my latest and greatest shots of Mason and Callie Anne. I don't think Mason was feeling very well - notice how docile he looks? And sweet. He is sweet. In a really loud sweaty kind of way. Callie, on the other hand, was in fine form!

Those eyes ...

2009-11-09T21:23:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, I know, two Lexi posts in a row. But I got this picture of her on Sunday, and her eyes just speak to me!

Am I right or am I right?? More pictures tomorrow.

Things to be thankful for ...

2009-11-08T14:42:00.001-06:00

Spent the afternoon with the Kuchtas, and all three kiddos were up and running. Played hide and seek for about an hour; my best win was hiding in Lexi's top bunk with Callie. I nearly killed myself getting down, but it was totally worth it.

Anyway, Lexi was running down the list of what meat came from which animal. After all the cow-meat, she told me that bacon comes from a pig ... and said, "Nini I'm glad the bacon comes from the INSIDE of the pig, and not the outside, 'cause they like to roll in the mud!"

I agree.

Things skittering around in my head ...

2009-11-07T09:44:00.000-06:00

1) Charles Martin is a great author - I just discovered him, but if you haven't read his stuff do it!!

2) Going to Walmart early definitely has the advantage of less screaming children; however, having the aisles blocked by numerous vendors and employees restocking shelves might be just as bad. It's a toss-up.

3) If you have the cart that goes thump-thump-thump, that is worse than either scenario referred to in #2 above.

4) "It is better to go to a funeral than to a feast, you just might learn something." Ecclestiastes 7:2

5) Blueberry donuts rock.

6) I spend way too much energy on things that don't matter.

7) KU plays K-State today ... which will probably lead to #8 ...

8) I need a nap!

That's it for now ... brain dump complete.

You will know ...

2009-11-05T22:24:00.002-06:00

... we are Christians by our love, by our love ..."

This song is based on John 13: 34 &35, which says, ”A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

It has been my privilege and blessing this week to watch the body of Christ love on my friends the Munyans during their grieving and heartbreak over the loss of their son Jesse. Watching them love each other, and seeing all the love flowing in and out and through that home, has been the closest thing I think I've ever witnessed to the way Jesus loves.

Peace and comfort and love to the Munyan family. May you find rest in the arms of His mercy.

Where to start?

2009-11-05T14:41:00.004-06:00

Wow do I have a lot of catching up to do. I have sadly neglected this blog in favor of Facebook, but talking with a friend who is a blogger reminded me today of how much I enjoyed this. So, no promises, but I think I'm going to try giving it more of my attention again. I've missed it without even realizing it.

The kids are good - here's a Halloween picture - that was such a fun night and the kids did remarkably well. A couple of lessons learned though:

1) Callie will NOT wear anything on her head - second year in a row we've tried this, with complete and utter failure.

2) Mason doesn't understand the concept of getting out of the way of door when the homeowner is trying to offer him candy.

3) People who just hold the bowl out in front of the kids are guaranteeing they'll take a handful, regardles of the instructions the child(ren) have been given by their parents!

4) Mason may very well be the sweatiest guy alive.

Lexi started kindergarten this fall ... she made it six whole days before landing herself in the principal's office for "noncompliance." I could go into more detail, but you know that you don't go the principal's office for the first offense! I was highly amused; her parents, on the other hand, were completely mortified! Thankfully it seemed to make an impression because at conferences last week the teacher said she has had absolutely no more problems with her - I say smart teacher for nipping it in the bud! Apparently tomorrow is pajama day at school, and Lexi is super excited ... Christa thinks she will want to wear her "flowy" tinkerbell jammies, which should be interesting. SUCH a unique child!

Mason's doing well in preschool two days a week, and he has our lovely friend Brenda for his teacher, which is a huge blessing! He is currently obsessed with Lincoln logs, and has built some quite impressive structures.

Callie is in the throes of the terrible two's. No doubt about it. REALLY no doubt about it. :)

I started a new job at Olathe Bible Church October 1st working in the Women's Ministry department as the program director - so far I am absolutely loving it.

Brandon was home from his year-long missions adventure on September 5th, and headed back to San Diego last weekend to his buddies and to look for a job. It was great to have him home for so long ... the down side is that I got used to having him around and I miss him terribly!

Well there you have it ... my catch up post. Wonder how long it will take anyone to notice ... can't imagine anyone's still checking after all this time! Maybe I'll post it in my status on Facebook!

Lego Creations

2009-06-21T20:10:00.002-05:00

We had the kids overnight Saturday night, and the big kids spent most of their time with the box of Legos, building and building.

The whole family stopped over today to wish Papa a happy father's day, and I got this great one of Callie belly laughing ...

This is Lexi's own creation - it started as a house, then was a castle, then was ... I'm not sure what it ended up being but she was mighty proud of it. Love that expression on her face.

Papa and Mason built this garage/carwash/gas station together, and all his cars were full of gas, clean, and jumping on and off the awning repeatedly ... at which time it was bedtime!

I told them to pick up because it was bedtime, and Papa said "I'm never going to bed!" Mason, without missing a beat, said, "OH NO! Then you'll be SUPER CWANKY!" Wonder if he's heard that somewhere before??

The girls stayed up jabbering until 10:15 ... it was cute as can be, to me of course who sent them home this morning ... not surprisingly I heard they took good naps today.

Happy Father's Day to all!

Rockin' Tae Kwon Do!

2009-06-01T12:21:00.002-05:00

Lexi started Tae Kwon Do a couple of weeks ago - she looks darling in her outfit! Wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch her kicking and punching ... hopefully she's getting the concept that these moves are not to be used on her siblings!

And Mason, rocking like a maniac on Grama's horse - should have video'd it instead, funny stuff!

Pool pictures are my next endeavor!

Blog fast ended

2009-05-26T11:06:00.003-05:00

It's been too long ... I've been through my elbow surgery now, and am on the way to recovery. I had to have a part of my hamstring transplanted to replace my UCL tendon in my elbow, yeah sort of a big deal. The recovery time to "normal" (whatever that is) is about 6 months, but I'm already doing so much better. I have physical therapy three times a week, and am in a big ugly brace that I call "Thug." Just for fun. Speaking of fun, physical therapy is NOT fun but I am encouraged by the progress so far.

I have also been so well loved during this recovery time - meals, cleaning my house, visits, cards - it is almost overwhelming. I'm learning how hard it is to receive! It's so much easier to give, and so humbling to be on the receiving end of so much love and mercy and grace. I have been the recipient of the hands and feet of Jesus from my brothers and sisters and that is a beautiful thing.

OK, for some fun, here's a video of Mason and his ongoing fear of all things flying ...

I'll be back sooner this time I hope!

Time for a ramble ...

2009-04-04T09:05:00.003-05:00

I can't believe I haven't posted since March 23rd. I think I am getting like everyone else in that Facebook is replacing blogs. Maybe because it's more interactive? Definitely it's less work to comment on someone's status or have a chat than it is to post a blog. But something is lost too ... at least for me - I don't get to tell stories on Facebook! And I really like doing that! Last weekend there was a women's conference at our church, and one of the workshops was on "Writing Your Life Story." I didn't get to go, but I got the short version from the teacher as well as her materials, and I'm intrigued. She suggests capturing memories, basically, which is what I think I've been doing on this blog for the last several years. The bonus here is the pictures.

So now that I've spent a few minutes brain-streaming for you, here's a couple of Lexi shots from the other night.

I just love the child's eyes, can't help zooming in on them whenever I've got the camera. She spent the night Thursday, and one of her favorite things to do over here is take a bubble bath. I sit in my chair at the bottom of the stairs and just listen to her talk and mostly sing - she is so funny. She has a 'swimming puppy' that unfortunately has had it's head removed from it's body somehow, and she was singing love songs to him: "Oh, you are my one true love, yes, my one true love, I'm so sorry your head came off, but I will wash you clean anyway and then we can play, my best friend, my one true love ..." And on and on and on (not all about her one true love thankfully). I just sit down there and laugh.

We are reading "The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe" together, and she is fascinated. I didn't know whether she would be old enough to appreciate it or even understand it, but despite the "old english" and the big words she seems to be absorbing it completely. In fact, while I was reading to her (we're about a third of the way thru the book, the kids have been told a little about Aslan and that they're to meet him soon, but nothing more) we came to the part where Edmund finds the stone lion at the White Witch's castle, and she started to cry and said, "Oh NO! The White Witch already turned the hero into stone!" I was very interested that she has already put together that Aslan is the hero, even if it made her sad. We talked about it being a story like movies are stories, and she said, "But I know one thing that IS true in this book, Adam and Eve! (The kids are called Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve throughout the book.) Yay! Sunday school, camp, reading the Bible at home, talking talking talking about all matters spiritual with her ... even though I personally don't ever remember talking about Adam and Eve, someone obviously has.

Anyway, that's my best Lexi story of the moment. Oh, except for the part where she was twirling around on one foot in her tinkerbell shirt telling me she wanted to be a singing ballerina when she grows up ...

And now that I've given you part of the book review, everyone who has read "The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe," go buy the book! Or watch the movie! It's worth your time, I promise.

Hand and feet

2009-03-23T08:52:00.002-05:00

Time is flying along ... these little hands and feet of Callie are proof. They still look so little in these pictures, but when she's running with her feet and eating (and beating her siblings) with her hands, she seems so big.

Time is flying.

I just don't get it ...

2009-03-08T20:22:00.002-05:00

This morning in church we went through multiple passages in Matthew, following Jesus' teachings to the disciples about glory to come, heaven, etc. ... always followed by His reminder that His suffering and death was to come. The disciples JUST DIDN'T GET IT. They thought the path to glory was power and authority, sitting beside Jesus on the throne, watching Him physically overcome the world right then. Jesus repeatedly told them that the path to glory was suffering and death. He kept giving them the pieces to the Kingdom puzzle, but God's kingdom is upside down and inside out from the world's idea of glory. They STILL didn't get it ... all the way to the end. Even after He was crucified, they didn't get it - it seemed that all had unraveled. Everything they expected had come tumbling down.

Until the resurrection - that glorious resurrection - when all the pieces of the puzzle He had handed them fell neatly into place and they finally understood. They saw the picture. THEY GOT IT! Do you get it? Do I get it? Do we really, really understand that God's economy is one of serving, giving, suffering, offering ... not the taking, striving, working our plan A, B, C, D etc., that the world tells us is the right side up way?

If I choose to buy into His "upside down" world it will cost. Me for sure, and perhaps those I love. But in the light of eternity, upside down and inside out look pretty right side up come Easter morning! May all of my days start with a resurrection morning!

A Truck Wash ... and Collateral Damage

2009-03-06T19:41:00.004-06:00

Mason came over for Truck Washing 101 - a lesson from Papa. Surprisingly neither of them got soaked! He absolutely LOVES Papa's truck ... he was so excited to help wash it he was literally dancing!

Later he was playing on the deck, and his daddy stopped over. I was inside, but heard J belly-laughing so I poked my head out and asked what happened. Well, Mason broke the rain gauge. When J asked him how it happened he said, "I DUNNO! My hands are JUST SO STRONG!"

A little later he was getting the placemats out of the deacons bench for dinner (one of his favorite "nini and papa" things, choosing everyone's placemats for the meal). He had to move a flower arrangement and a picture to get to them ...

... I heard a crunch, and a "I fink I bwoke somefing." Hmmm. He's worth it, though, totally, I promise!

If we are the Body ...

2009-02-16T09:20:00.001-06:00

Facebook | Brandon Clayton's Photos - the world race

Can't seem to figure out how to post this as a picture ... but it's worth the click.

The Message

2009-02-15T13:40:00.003-06:00

The first message is that Greg and Amy turned a combined 90 years old about a week ago! Greg is now 50 and Amy is now 40. We celebrated with family last night, and good fun was had by all.

The second "message" is the announcement on our answering machine. Who cares, you may ask? Well, it's the prelude to the postlude (that's not right! What is the word I want?), so bear with me and listen to it.

And the REAL message, left on same answering machine by Lexi (with Mason jabbering in the background):

It's a little hard to understand - Lexi first says "That's not Nini's voice!" ... then "Can I talk to Nini, Papa?" and finally, "I called Nini!"

Obviously the continuing saga of teaching Lexi my phone number ... and obviously she doesn't understand the concept of the answering machine yet! And obviously Mommy cut her off at the end! If anyone can figure out what Mason is saying you'll win a prize. Don't know what yet, because I don't expect anyone can do it, but if you do I'll figure out something!

Love those kiddos.

Don't try this at home

2009-02-09T09:56:00.004-06:00

All my best material comes from the kids' overnights, that's for sure. Lexi asked me to make heart-shaped cookies - we were working on valentines together, so it follows easily enough. I'm envisioning the whole roll-out sugar cookie thing, realizing I don't have a heart shaped cookie cutter, and she says she wants chocolate chip cookies. Far in the recesses of my brain I know this won't really work, but being the lefty-brained nut that I am, the active part of my brain said, well why not?

These look pretty good don't they? So did my left brain win? No. NO! These were the only two out of the whole entire stinkin' batch that turned out looking remotely like hearts. Imagine how much time was spent trying to make the other 30-some cookies look like these?? Thankfully she was just excited about these two, and didn't seem to care at all about the others, as long as she got to eat the hearts, naturally.

Now this is a whole other story. She came into me in middle of the night on Saturday to tell me her feet were cold. I'm ashamed to say that I was so far asleep that I didn't even get up, just told her to go get her socks from the clothes we'd laid out for church the next morning. Apparently she was up for awhile...

While she was eating breakfast Sunday morning, she said brightly, "Nini, do you wanna look at my bed?" Thinking she had done a 5-year-old job of making her bed and was proud, I said sure and went up to look. This is what I found. I asked her what happened, and she said, "I wanted to sleep on the bottom cushion so that's why the top cushion looks like a slide!" I stopped asking questions in fear, realizing though why she was SO COLD!! I have no idea whether she did this before she went to sleep or in the middle of the night ... am I even fit to have these children in my house??

Finally, a picture of her on her birthday. Poor kiddo was sick so her party got cancelled. Instead we had a very small pajama party, and she of course was the princess of the day. Fun enough, and I think she really didn't know the difference in the end.

Finally for real, yesterday's sermon was a very reflective challenge for me from the book of Nehemiah. He ALWAYS prayed first, and then took decisive action based on God's reponse and His word. Do I pray first and then ask God's blessing on my decision? All too often. Do I pray and then not act? Some of the time. Is that what He wants from me, is that what grows my relationship with Him? Is that what He longs for and waits for? How about you?

Nelson Mandela

2009-02-07T20:21:00.002-06:00

Brandon posted a really great blog and especially video - go take a look here if you have the time.

18? or 100?

2009-02-02T14:57:00.002-06:00

Christa was taking Lexi to the doctor today for her five-year-old checkup - by the way HOW IN THE HECK DID SHE GET TO BE FIVE????? - and they were doing "math" on the way there. By this I mean Lexi was giving Christa addition problems and then correcting her. My favorite is this one: Mom, what's 9 + 9? Of course, Christa answered "18." Lexi's response? No it's not. You told me it was 100 when I was three.

You can't make up this stuff.

Birthdays and sick days!

2009-01-26T06:38:00.005-06:00

Sick days first - we have had the weirdest wave of stomach virus sweep through here - Callie got sick on Wednesday (we babysat her Weds night); Greg got sick the middle of Thursday night, I got sick Friday evening, Brooke (Lexi's overnight friend, see below :) Saturday morning, Lexi Saturday afternoon, and Mason Saturday night. So far that seems to be the end of the epidemic but I haven't heard from Christa yet today ... it was either a total fluke or the FASTEST incubation period EVER for a virus!!

Anyway, that's not any of the fun stuff, just life stuff. Lexi had her new friend Brooke over here on Thursday for a 5th birthday sleepover! She was so excited for so long, "My very first sleepover ever Nini!" Brooke is 6 1/2 and so sweet with Lexi - they get along great and Brooke is sort of "motherly" with Lexi when there is any disagreement, letting her go first, have her way, etc. - I'm not sure that's great for Lex but it was so sweet of Brooke. It was HILARIOUS listening to their conversations without me participating in them - I can't begin to count how many times the two of them used the word "ridiculous." (Example: "Nini, it is so ridiculous that your trash can is in your cabinets." They teased, played, made ginormous messes, and generally had a busy blast. I did too! Because Greg got sick Friday was a little sketchy, so we packed up and went to Christa's after lunch until it was time for Brooke to go home. Here's a few pictures - I practically have a play-by-play posted on Facebook if you're my friend on there and want to look.

We started the day with a trip to Walmart (whoopee) and lunch at McDonald's ... the lunch of champions, huh?

The girls "get" the whole webkinz thing way better than I do ... I never felt so old.

Yeah all this stuff definitely camp out of the homeschooling closet. Should've known they were too quiet ... but really it didn't matter and they had a LOT of fun with "arts & crafts" the whole time they were together. They were also remarkably compliant with cleaning up their mess ... witha little help from a Nini, of course.

Trying to get the kitty - I had to rescue the poor thing a few times - he was definitely "over-loved." And yes, once again, there's Lexi's butt crack. Her signature, apparently.

Just before bed ... Lexi's new princess socks (lovely) and not too long before Greg got sick. Hmmm. Germs.

Bedtime - it only took them 2 1/2 hours to be quiet and go to sleep! Which might have had something to do with Lexi's 29.2 meltdowns on Friday afternoon ...

Long story short - I highly recommend to all Grama's out there to consider hosting your grandchild's sleepover sometime - I think I had as much fun as they did.

Babies

2009-01-21T19:25:00.003-06:00

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Willie! He's officially declawed and de ... well you know. He seems fine, and thankfully he and Millie (formerly known as Billie Bob) picked up where they left off, no hissing or growling necessary. :)

Callie came to visit tonight ... she spent an entire hour crawling up and down the stairs. UP the stairs, sit in my lap, up from my lap, down the stairs, turn in a circle, UP the stairs, sit in my lap, up from my lap, down the stairs, turn in a circle, you get the picture. An HOUR! Oh to be so easily pleased. She is such a doll. Her mommy, on the other hand, is on my list ...

... mom sent no diapers or wipes and an imminent poop ... I had a pull-up ... unfortunately I changed her wet diaper into the pull-up BEFORE the poop ... found another pull-up thankfully since she totally peed down her legs, socks, etc. because the pull-ups are too big for her ... so when she went home she was wearing a huge pull-up and a pair of pajamas that are about Lexi's size. :) Hope they remember to change that pull-up before they put her back to bed! At least I THINK that's what I hope ...

When do you make an "M" a "W"??

2009-01-20T05:41:00.003-06:00

You make an M a W when you take your new kitty, Millie, to the vet to get declawed and spayed, and the vet calls to say that they can't spay Millie because "she" is a "HE"!!!!!!!! So Millie is now "Willie," and we've renamed Billie Bob "Millie" (since she really IS a girl). This is all very confusing but eventually should clear up the gender issues we've created for the poor things ... and OH MY GOODNESS how could we not tell the difference?? I promise you we looked ... really looked ... at all the kitties and this was the only one that looked like a girl. I'll leave it at that and not humiliate poor Willie any further.

It was definitely one of the funniest phone calls I've gotten in awhile, especially when I told the vet, "Well we'll have to change her - I mean HIS - name now ..." and she said, "Oh we're calling him Milli Vanilli!"

We have a baby!!

2009-01-14T19:04:00.002-06:00

Did I get anybody's blood pressure to jump? Heart skip a beat? No? Well it was fun imagining that it might.

We got this little tabby last night - she's 3 months old and we named her Millie (yes, it rhymes with Billie (bob) our other she-cat's name ... I really like rhyming. Plus she looks like a Millie. Trust me.) It has been hilarious watching the two of them circle each other and posture and growl and hiss and carry on ... wonder how long it will take for the power struggle to resolve?

When the sweet turns sour

2009-01-13T09:58:00.002-06:00

Aren't they just precious? Seriously! I love both these pictures. And SoMeTiMeS they represent the reality of these little people. And sometimes they don't.

For example, the other day I was visiting them and they were having a rare mid-winter Kansas chance to play outside. The babies were sleeping, so Christa and I were sitting outside also with the back door wide open (to hear the babies, lest you think we were dangerously incompetent - the front door was locked and the garage door was too, so don't worry).

Lexi made the most perfect mound of dirt, and planted a wonderfully straight and tall stick. Dead as a doornail, but that was irrelevant, as you will see. She moved on to the swingset, and next thing you know Mason is on the porch with us brandishing said stick like a weapon. Lexi catches sight of him, and of course a screaming tug of war ensues. Christa grabs the stick, puts it somewhere too high for either of them to reach, and orders them off the porch. Mason went quietly (shocking, honestly) and Lexi's older sister mouth started running ... "Mason now that tree will NEVER grow and it's all your fault that she took it away from us and it was MINE and you shouldn't have taken it and it's all your fault that Mom took it away ..." and on and on and on. Eventually Mason said, "Do you want me to push you on the swing?" Sweet, yes? "NO! You shouldn't have stoled my stick! It's all your fault ... blah blah blah." After about, oh, 3 or 4 more minutes of her haranguing and his trying to appease her I finally went in, but it was quite a display of their separate personalities, and also just the generalized differences of birth order! More than that, it was really really funny!!

Am I the only one?

2009-01-13T09:56:00.001-06:00

I'm SO jonesing to change my background, and the cutestblogontheblock website got shut down because their server is overloaded ... I'm tired of my "happy new year message" and you probably are too but I guess we'll all just have to deal until they get back up and running. Good luck cutest IT folk!

A picture worth a thousand words ...

2009-01-10T18:53:00.001-06:00

... so I'll save mine for another post.

What a lovely visit ...

2009-01-09T00:58:00.003-06:00

My baby brother Mike and his more-than-just-a-girlfriend Lauren came to visit this week from Colorado. We've had the best fun - Lauren and I set up a blog for her and she is absolutely obsessed now ... so go check it out here! We've had lots of time to just hang out and talk and laugh and catch up and get to know Lauren - although they've been together for quite a while now this is her first trip to Kansas ... we were glad to find out she really did exist and wasn't just a claymation figment of Michael's imagination!

Anyway, busy wonderful week ... really hate to see them go. Please come back soon??

23!!

2009-01-05T08:28:00.002-06:00

Right after I finished saying I was slowing down on the posts ... it occurred to me that today is Brandon's 23rd birthday! He is spending it, as far as I can tell, on a bus somewhere in Uganda, ultimate destination Lira. He posted a beautiful (to me) blog this weekend - if you want to hear his heart, and how God is changing him, click here. Most of you know this, but he is on a 11-month, 11-country missions trip, and Uganda is country (and month, not that I'm counting) #4.