stop, drop and roll

In the shower this morning, “Stop, Drop and Roll” came into my mind. When we’re on fire every instinct tells us to run, thrash, scream, fight – to preserve my life. That is MY instinct. I do feel a bit like my life is on fire. But the truth is that the safest thing to do – as counterintuitive as it might seem – is to stop, drop and roll. This makes me grin – God you’ve clearly taken care of the stop and drop part for me. Not sure what the “roll” will be but I can be sure You will show me in your good time.

Started the “Experiencing God” workbook this morning – I did this years ago and have been nudged from several directions this week to do it again.  One of the first sections talks about having a roadmap for my journey, knowing all the turns, stops, yields, etc. ahead of time – I like that! Didn’t You make me a natural planner? This makes sense to me! – vs. having a passenger who knows exactly where we’re going and all I have to do is turn when he says turn. Put in that light, of course I’d prefer the second way – in fact, I think there’s a third way that sounds even better – You drive and I’ll just come along for the ride. Then I don’t even have to worry about whether You’re paying enough attention, whether I’m in the right lane, if the turn is coming up soon – I just go where You go, and I’m relaxed enough that we talk all the way there.

You sent Abram out with a simple command: “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” (Gen 12:1) So basically, he just had to pack his bag and get in the truck, right? And even packing is iffy – if you don’t know where it is you’re going it’s pretty hard to pack the right stuff. And I can imagine the agony of trying to figure that out … so maybe it’s more of "just get in the truck" and trust that You will provide for me on the journey, as well as at our destination. 

At the same time as You gave him the command to go, You made him a promise:

“I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” (Gen 12:2-3)

And with that, Abram gathered his stuff and his family and off they went. But here’s the thing – the very next verse tells me where they ended up! So I skip right along without even thinking about what the journey must have been like – clueless, wandering, frustrating even? You don’t tell us about what that was like. But yet You’ve given me the “leave and go” command and now I’m choosing to get in the truck. And I know all about the promises You’ve made to me. I know with all my heart that they are true, because You told me so.  Am I living like I believe them? Nope. So here we go. I’m bringing nothin’ but You – because I don’t have the energy or the foresight to know what I might need. Take me where you will Lord, I’m ready for a road trip with you! Yet realistically I know I’m going to be digging in the glove compartment looking for that map, asking to drive (maybe even stealing Your keys), wanting to stop at Walmart for supplies, etc. You know me. So maybe you should cuff me to the door … wait!  Maybe that’s EXACTLY what You’ve done!
Stop - check.  Drop - check.  Roll - ready, but only with Your help.

just me and elijah

This is definitely NOT what I expected to be posting about right now.  But this passage from 1 Kings 19 has had such an incredibly profound impact on me over the last few weeks, as I've struggled with my health, and the unknown, and eventually coming to terms with the reality that I need to take a leave of absence from my job.  I need to rest, recover, and pursue answers so that I can get well.

This passage has boomeranged back to me over and over and over, and so I just had to share it (with liberal editorial comments).  I would recommend that you read the whole of Chapters 18 and 19 first for context, especially if you don't know the story of Jezebel.  Anyway, here's what poured forth in the last hour:

(Note:  Scripture quoted in purple, my comments in black.)

1 Kings 19 excerpts:

(Elijah is running for his life from Jezebel.  He was afraid – and with good reason!)

v. 4-8

“But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree;  and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, ‘It is enough; now O Lord, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers.’”

He has had enough, and asks God to kill him! And how does God respond?

 
“He [Elijah] lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, 'Arise, eat.'”

Then he looked and behold, there was at his head a bread cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water.  So he ate and drank and lay down again.

The angel of the Lord came a second time and touched him and said, “Arise, eat, because the journey is too great for you.”  So he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mountain of God.”

So God gives him rest, food, rest, acknowledges the weight of Elijah's burden, and gives him more food - food to sustain him for 40 days and nights!!  And what does Elijah do?

“Then he came there to a cave and lodged there; and behold the word of the Lord came to him and he said to him, “What are you doing here Elijah?”

Elijah protests:  “He said, ‘I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I along am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”

What does God do then?  He’s fed him, given him food unlike any other, protected him, and now Elijah’s hiding??  God says:

“Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord was passing by!  And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.”

Elijah hears this and comes as far as the mouth of the cave, blinking, no doubt, in the sunlight.  And God repeats:  “What are you doing here Elijah??”

Elijah repeats the VERY SAME protest!

God tells him to move along.  But He promises help, and delivers it in the form of Elisha, and an army of 7000 men to stand with him.  The mantle is passed from Elijah to Elisha - no small job here for Elisha!  And yet, (v. 21): “Then he [Elisha!] arose and followed Elijah and ministered to him.”

Take aways for me:

1) God knows what I need. Sometimes it’s as simple as food and rest.

2) Sometimes the journey I am on is too great for me.

3) Only HIS food will sustain me for the journey he’s set before me.

4) Even when He provides so incredibly … Elijah still wanted to hang out in the cave.  Felt safe?  Didn’t trust, for sure.  Scared, definitely.

5) God reveals HIMSELF. Speaks directly to Elijah, twice!  And Elijah’s response is protest and defending himself.

6) Only when God promises help in human form can Elijah rouse himself and move on.

7) The help God sent was Elisha – someone to TAKE OVER for Elijah (for whom the journey was too great?) – and yet even as he took over, he followed Elijah and ministered to him.

Great – GREAT – is His faithfulness to know and give me what I need.  Great is His patience, when He’s giving me EXACTLY what I need, even directly revealing HIMSELF to me, and yet I protest.  And great is His mercy, to provide a human replacement when I need it, and greater still that he would send a replacement not just to relieve me of my burden, but a replacement who will minister to me.

Written with joy,

good intentions never get me very far

So, my faithful readers, for all my big talk about getting back to regular posting, it's been something like three weeks since I've actually done it.  Here's the deal.  I keep waiting for a "happy post" to materialize, and it just ain't happenin'.  So the next one, in the near future (translated: as soon as my body cooperates with me), will be an "I yam where I yam" sort of blog.  God is working in me, and I have an idea simmering, or maybe in the crockpot, or maybe just a meal plan, but I'm waiting in hope that it's mealtime soon!
 

ah, my heart!

My biggest little finally lost a front tooth.  Or I should say, she wrenched that tooth out of her mouth by herself.  She's late losing it - she turned 7 in January - but still.  Still.  As joyful as I was for her and with her, my heart gave a little lurch as I sensed some sort of rite of passage.  I'm not sure my sweet girl can still be called a "little" when she gets "big" teeth.

Sadly, the Tooth Fairy must have had a very busy night because the expected exchange did not take place last night ... here's hoping she shows up tonight or someone will have some explaining to do!

Short post, full heart.  My mind's eye still sees this little one curled up in a tiny (bald) ball clutching her beloved blankie and sucking her thumb.  But time defies my memory and marches on, and on, and on.