Headline news: Brenda needs to get out more! says McDonald's employee

So Tuesday, Brenda and I headed for Toys-R-Us to do some Christmas shopping for her boys. (Somehow I came home with more than she did, and my kids are all over 20. Not sure what happened there.)

Anyway, we got there at 9:45, both of us being OCD and habitually early, when they didn't open until 10:00. So, being the coupon/sausage QUEEN (did you miss that pageant?), I suggested we go to McDonald's for some fortification since I had a buy one - get one free breakfast sandwich coupon.

This little lady who waited on us was probably 70+ years old, and her little Mickey D's vest was literally covered in metal pins ... like "Smile, God loves you", and every state she'd ever visited, etc. etc. I handed her the coupon, told her the sandwich and drink I wanted, and then noticed Brenda fumbling around in her purse for her debit card. I grabbed her arm, and told the little cashier to tell her "No!" SO this lady YELLS at Brenda, "SHE SAID NO!" and grabbed the debit card and handed it to me! Then she looks at me and says, "Thank you! It was good to have permission to get that out - I'm feeling very angry this morning!" (Much laughter as you might imagine.)

But ... we still need Brenda's order. Little angry old lady and I are waiting patiently, and Brenda's looking back and forth between us grinning like a fool, obviously having no idea that she's holding up the train. So I said, "Brenda! What do you want to eat?" And so she points at the coupon, then stutters a couple of unintelligible words (she might have even drooled a little). I gently tell her she has to PICK a sandwich and point at the menu board. The little lady leans over to me and says, "You don't take her out much, do you?!" And I shake my head, sadly, no I don't, and she says, "You really need to get her out more, even if you take her to Hardee's, that's ok with me!!"

By now Brenda and I are nearly hysterical with laughter ... quite a lot of entertainment for $3.20!

So, as my title says, I'm looking for volunteers to "socialize" poor Brenda and teach her things like proper coupon etiquette at fast food restaurants, etc. Beware that you may be embarrassed, but it will be worth the warm feeling of helping a poor soul learn how to function in the real world. :)

Love ya Bren, you know I do!!!!!!!!!! You knew this was coming, right? Too good of a story to pass up.