useful?

Today's entry in "My Utmost For His Highest" (Oswald Chambers) contains the following:

"God plants his saints in the most useless places.  We say - God intends me to be here, because I am so useful.  Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use.  God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is."

Whoo-eee.  I read this before heading into my day at work.  My useful day.  Useful for God, since I work at a church.  Right?  I wrote in my journal, "Wow, what a trap for me - thinking that I'm useful to You!  Change my thinking, Lord - let me bloom where you've planted me, not by being useful but by glorifying You."

He answered within a couple of hours.  I was rendered useless.  And I pray that I glorified Him. 

new habits

I've been working towards changing old habits, and finding new ones to replace them with.  Thinking on what I need to "fast" from and what instead I should "feast" on.  And it's hard!  I am a creature of habit, though, and with practice I hope that in time I will succeed.

Lexi spent last night with us, and at bedtime she wanted me to read her the book pictured at the left.  This "book" was written and illustrated by Brandon in the 5th grade - I wish I could take a picture of every page and let you read it.  Very funny stuff.  And, as you might imagine, coming from my gene pool the illustrations are ... well ... a bit confusing at best (sorry Beej). 

It was a surprise to even find this treasure, as I am not a "keeper of things" and since my kids are grown I've sent their stuff with them.  But Lexi is entranced with it, and every time she's been here since we found it, she wants it for her bedtime story.  Last night she was so tired I said no, and she asked if we could have it as a first-thing-in-the-morning story instead.  Her sweet little face appeared beside my bed promptly at 7:00 a.m. this morning, and the book was under her arm.  She crawled up beside me, and we read.

Those of you who know me at all know that I am all about routines and schedules and such.  So it is not a stretch that Lexi, blood of my blood, is probably much the same.  But I was struck this morning as I was thinking about how hard it is for me to form "new habits" that it is VERY EASY for Lexi to form them.  And to remember them without fail, and to follow through on them faithfully.  She does this unconsciously, surely (she's only six, right?!), but I am paying attention.  I think I will do my best to take my cue from her.

she speaks, He moves, he serves

This was a truly incredible weekend.  I traveled to Concord, NC, with Debbie and Ruth, two of my Olathe Bible Church cohorts, to the "She Speaks" conference with no expectations and a sore neck.  I came home with loads of information and tools to use in our Women's Ministry from the breakout sessions.  I came home refreshed by Cheri Keaggy's worship times.  I came home with the utterly unexpected gift of a prayer partner who lives in North Carolina. I came home completely broken and at the same time renewed and encouraged and challenged by the God-messages given by the keynote speakers.

I also came home with lots of great memories and the knowledge that because of this shared experience, my relationship with my cohorts has been moved to a new and deeper level.  We laughed together, cried together, and prayed together.  (Laughter = Debbie telling me she should have brought her scissors so she could cut my hair - I just got a haircut! And Ruth admiring my flat toes.)

I still have so much to process.  But I am struck by the notion that the term "she speaks" means something different for each of us as women.  We are not all "speakers" in the traditional sense, although some are.  Some speak to God on our behalf.  Some speak mercy and compassion into our lives.  Some boldly speak truth to us even when it hurts.  Some speak by hugging us and wiping away our tears.  Some speak by holding us accountable.  Some speak through writing, music, art.  Some speak by teaching.  Some speak by not speaking at all, only listening.  But hasn't God given us all a way to "speak" His glory and love and realness to each other?  Do we hold back sometimes because we don't speak the same way as those we admire?  Are we willing to let God speak through us in the way HE planned all along?  Or do we resist, feeling unworthy, unwise, unmerciful, unequipped, or some other "un" label we give ourselves?  When we speak according to His will for us, He moves.

One of the most powerful takeaways for me was the challenge to remember my "first love" for Jesus.  How did I think?  How did I pray?  How did I act, in private and in public?  How starved I was for His word and teaching.  Life happens.  I grew and learned and changed.  And I drifted.  Not too far - I can still see the shoreline.  But I realize that I've been focused more on my ministry than on my God.  Time to return.  My ministry is only effective when my eyes are on Him.  Not just in the quiet space each morning with my Bible and my journal, but in all the moments of my days.

And he serves.  Who?  My husband.  I received so many encouraging and loving text messages when I was gone, the last one asking "what will you need when you get home?"  I walked into a clean house, a pantry full of groceries, and the arms of the one who hates to be separated from me but loves me enough to send me out.  He speaks - straight to my heart, a human reminder to me of the God who does the same.

angie lately

WARNING:  WHINING AHEAD!

So much has happened since my last post.  I found myself yet again in physical pain, this time from a herniated disc in my neck that caused a lot of upper back pain and "I just hit my crazy bone" type nerve pain from my shoulder to fingertips in my left arm, no reflexes and significant weakness.  I finally went to the doctor, expecting a pinched nerve or something along those lines, only to be sent for an MRI and straight to a neurosurgeon (whom I have seen before and completely trust to be very conservative).  Imagine my surprise when, after he looked at my MRI and examining me, that he recommended surgery, right away.

So to surgery I went.  He found that my disc had broken into pieces (HOW does that happen?  I can remember no event, fall, etc. that would cause this, other than the slip in the pool that caused the elbow thing, but that was two years ago).  It disintegrated when he tried to remove it.  Had to use a "dremmel tool" to dig it all out of there - that still sort of creeps me out.  It was replaced with a piece of cadaver bone (ok that also creeps me out a little) and screwed in a titanium plate across the two vertebrae and the new-to-me bone.  I went home in a soft collar to be worn around the clock and a five pound weight limit.  Five pounds!  My purse weighs more than that!  After three weeks, I returned for an xray and post surgical exam, and happily learned that the bones are starting to fuse.  Still in the collar, but weaning off at home.

Unexpected, however, was the fact that he had to move my esophagus (they went in through my neck) and couldn't swallow solid food for almost two weeks.  Bonus:  10 pounds, bye bye.  Most surprising to me has been the extreme fatigue that still, six weeks later, plagues me.  I have had to seriously limit my activities, which does not sit well with me!

So it's been a rough go, and I've no idea how much longer the malaise will last.  I wallowed in my disappointment and frustration, frankly it still overwhelms me at times.  Especially since I seem to be on the "a surgery a year" plan, after last summer's elbow drama.  I'm struggling with disappointment at another summer gone by with seeing few of my hopes and plans come to fruition.  GRANDKIDS!  My two biggest ones are starting school in just a few weeks and of course it's harder to plan time with them once the school year gets going.

I've learned some things, important things.  How to receive ... we had meals brought in for a solid three weeks, people helping clean and run errands, visitors that definitely helped my "mental" health.  I've had a lot of reflection time (a LOT!) and have realized that I'm BAD at receiving.  And at the core of that, in all reality, is pride.  My nemesis.  I am so thankful to all those people who have loved me so well and continue to do so.

And then there's the patience thing again.  The doctor gave me a recovery window of 2 weeks to 4 months (!) and of course to me that meant two weeks.  So here I sit six weeks out still napping every day!

I've had lots of time for reflection - slowing down to the point of thinking instead of just doing.  No fires to put out, no demands on my time or emotions, other than what I put on myself of course.  It's been good to rediscover and remember the things I am really passionate about from a ministry standpoint, and SO good to spend uninterrupted, no-time-limit time with the Lord.

I know this season will not be wasted ... I must continue to actively fight the frustration and discouragement!  So I plod forward, slowly but surely, resting when I need to and taking care of the basics.  Speaking of resting ... nap straight ahead!  Happier blogs to come.

Tone of voice ...

So it turns out that all the best stories from our trip to Lincoln cannot be blogged.  Tone of voice and facial expression, at a minimum, are required to convey them well ... and with me probably lots of hand gestures as well!

The kids were great, the time was relaxing and fun, and I'm so glad we went!  Thursday we spent time with Kari and her two littles, Wyatt and O.J., walking and feeding the ducks and playing on the playground and winding down (or winding up, depending on who we're talking about) at Red Robin for lunch.  There was a minor problem surrounding the Red Robin balloons when it was time to buckle into car seats, but Mom-of-the-Year quickly solved it by telling them if they didn't settle in the balloons would go out the window.  End of problem.

The kids were amazingly good on the drives up and back - Christa has discovered an incredible combination of dramamine (they DO get carsick, really) and movies on the laptop.  Result - half-comatose and/or sleeping children and much quiet while we drive.  Very nice.

The highlight was definitely watching this movie.  That's a lie.  It was the worst movie I've seen in a very long time, despite Christa's assurances that it was "really sweet."  I'm pretty sure it should be renamed "Bitter October."  Ridiculous.  The only good thing is that she was really embarrassed by the end of it.

I'll post the rest of my pictures on facebook - there's some cute ones in there!

Stay tuned ...

Road trip!!  Christa and I are going to Lincoln with the kiddos tomorrow for a couple of days, to visit her in-laws, all of whom I adore.  Yes, we're leaving J.R. here.  Weird?  Maybe.  But I'm happy to be going in his stead!  I'm sure to come home with good stories and pictures to match.

punch me in the face ...

I'm returning to my childhood again - who remembers these dudes?  Much aggression was taken out in this little ring at our house!  I remember it being set up on my mom's sewing board in our basement and of course we had to have tournaments since there were three of us.  Being rather uncoordinated children, there were some pretty wild rounds, and I seem to remember a lot of yelling and screaming, and perhaps the whole thing degenerating into a real-life knock-down drag out. 

Always learning

Lexi learned (and of course explained ad nauseum) the purpose and function of title pages in books recently.  Mason is becoming a little master of his bicycle ... I suspect his training wheels may be coming off well before Lexi's.  Callie has learned how to pout masterfully - that little lip sticks out so far it's ridiculous!

Me?  I'm learning a few things these days too.  Like I can stop reading a book if I'm not enjoying it.  And it's ok to say no to things that overload me - even if I didn't think that thing was an overloader.  Also, I almost ALWAYS undercook rice ... what is that about?  Why don't the package directions work?  This is a biggie - I get seriously wound up about stuff that shouldn't rob my energy, mental or otherwise ... "be anxious for nothing ..." ... well, I'm learning.  Perhaps a "BFO" (blinding flash of the obvious), but an intricate, detailed budget, while time consuming, really does work, and frankly brings freedom I never would have expected. 

Time is strange.  Sometimes it flies by so fast I can hardly remember what day it is, let alone the actual date.  But this week it is crawling, creeping, slugging along ... maybe because I keep getting up at 4:30 a.m.?  Hmm.  That could explain it.  Of course this also makes it hard for me to remember what day it is ...

Long dreary snowy cold winters make my mouth water for spring.  Easy warm winters?  Well, I hardly even notice the transition.

Doing one load of laundry a day, while easier than doing it all at once, never gives the satisfaction that totally empty laundry baskets do.

I'm still pondering, post-Sunday, the notion that there is much opportunity in suffering.  I have always been taught that suffering is inevitable for Christians, but more from the standpoint that we must expect it and withstand it ... now I'm presented with the idea that there is opportunity for witness, especially, in how I handle suffering.  My heart tells me this is a big lesson while my head is still trying to wind around it.

OH ... this is nothing I've newly learned, but am recalling daily now as the excitement builds - I LOVE MARCH MADNESS! 

Paybacks and gravy

Join me in a tour of my home after 3/4 of a day with the kids ...

And guess what?!  They're still here, so I could improve on this if I really wanted to!  The good news is that, like it or not, they WILL clean it all up before they go home!

After lunch today Lexi asked if they could do a "food experiment."  I started to say no, just because ... well, just because that was my first reaction, I guess.  But I thought, what the heck, the worst that can happen is a mess, so we went for it.  They asked for water, flour, salt, pepper and garlic salt.  Well, once they mixed up the sloppy mess it dawned on me that they basically had the ingredients for white gravy ... so we cooked it up.

For dipping, Mason chose toast and Lexi chose barbecue potato chips.  Mind you, they used a LOT (and I do mean a lot) of garlic salt, so it was entirely disgusting, but they manned up and ate quite a bit of it, proclaiming that it was "better than Grama's"!  Whatever that means ... Mom, if that's true, you might want to work on your gravy! 

Oh and yes, of course it was a disastrous mess.  I spared you the pictures.

Weighing in

So we weighed our giNORmous cat today, and he weighs 15 pounds.  That's like two babies!! A friend suggested after seeing his picture on Facebook that he might be a Maine Coon - and oh boy after googling the creature I'm pretty sure she's right!  They are referred to as "gentle giants" ... and although he is very even-tempered for a cat, he is not very gentle when he head-butts me for attention, or launches himself from the floor to the armrest to the top of my recliner, usually pushing me backwards what feels like two feet.

We got to go to the KU/Colorado game today - it was marvelous to be back in Allen Fieldhouse.  It's been years since we've been, and so much has changed, but the electrically-charged atmosphere is just the same.  It's an all-sensory experience, for sure ... right down to the older lady who insisted on sharing my seat with me.  (We were on benches, and she just couldn't get the hang of sitting ON her number, but rather sat between hers and mine.  We were almost married by the end of the game.)

Christa and J went to Lincoln to see family this weekend, and asked us to look after their super-cute beagle/something dog Bentley.  So we went over last night to feed him and let him out, and got a little ornery.  We rearranged some things in the kitchen, changed all the clocks by six hours, switched all the stuff on the tops of their vanities (J's stuff on Christa's and vice versa), put Callie's potty training chair on their toilet, and last and best, we short-sheeted their bed.  So far she's found everything except the bed ... as I type I'm expecting an indignant call any moment.  Very amusing, I must say ... and good for the budget, as it was definitely free entertainment.

Lexi apparently said to Christa, "UGH!  Why did your parents do this??"  Which TOTALLY makes me laugh because this is the child that rearranges entire rooms every time she visits.

Mason is honing his handyman skills by removing the screws from the kiddie chairs during "naptime" at preschool - he's done it twice now, and hides them under his blanket.  LOL!  The second time Brenda (my friend and his teacher) told him to put them back and he just grinned that Mason grin and said, "But I don't know how!"  To which she replied, "That's not my problem!  You better figure it out!"  Apparently he did, at least to some degree.  Greg and I figure he's going to take over House Calls some day!

Dilly Bread and other such things

I think I've probably posted this before, but it is my most favorite bread!!  The credit goes to my mother-in-law, Pat, who gave me the recipe years ago.

DILLY BREAD
Pat Clayton

1 pkg dry yeast
¼ c warm water
1 c cottage cheese
2 T sugar
1 T minced onion
1 T butter
2 t dill weed
1 t salt
½ t baking soda
1 unbeaten egg
2 ½ c flour

Soften yeast in ¼ c warm water. Heat cottage cheese to lukewarm; add sugar, onion, butter, dill weed and salt. Beat egg in large bowl; add cheese mixture, soda and yeast. Add flour to make a soft dough.

Let mixture rise in warm place until double, about 1 hour. Stir down; turn into 2 well-greased bread pans. Let rise in warm place 40 minutes. Bake until golden brown at 350* (30-45 mins). Spread butter and salt on top of loaf.

---

Today's a baking/cooking day.  It's cold outside (no kidding, huh?), I'm home all day, and I've been "getting by" with easy meals for long enough.  Think I'll do some parmesan chicken and baked parmesan potatoes.  Too much parmesan, you ask?  No such thing.  The potatoes are divine ... I'll post that recipe too if anyone wants it.

Life is clicking along.  Work is still going well, and retreat planning is moving at a good pace.  We did have one small hiccup when our speaker had to cancel, but amazingly God provided a pair of women to take her place that I am so excited about - Nancy Moser and Brenda Josee.  Their material fits perfectly with our theme, "Free to Be Me," and they were available the weekend we needed them.  This all fell into place in a matter of days ... how's that for "coincidence"?  :)

I miss my littles - haven't seen enough of them lately.  Lexi took quite the spill the other day ... her version of what happened:  "My toe slipped under my foot and I stepped on it and fell down!"  Poor little urchin, she is most certainly blood of my blood.  Despite the fact that her middle name is Grace, physical grace is definitely not one of her finest attributes!  Or mine ... or Christa's ... or Linda's ... sorry guys, but the truth hurts.

Brandon is still plugging away looking for more work in San Diego, but thankfully he has found a great group of Christian guys to live with and fellowship with - the community he's been missing so much since he finished The Race.

Christa looks super cute in her "police" uniform (sans weapons of course) ... I would have thought 'super cute' and 'police uniform' to be mutually exclusive, but she pulls it off.  :)

Off I go ... laundry to fold and bread to bake!

Tasks or People? People or Tasks?

I've had a mixed up week, not in a bad way, just in that I have been pretty evenly divided between spending my time with people and spending it working at "tasks."  I used to be almost exclusively task oriented - give me a job to do, and I'll "git 'er done"!  But I think that was to the exclusion of relationships.  I've always heard that we all have a tendency toward one or the other, and I would have always said I was bent toward tasks.  The more I look back over the past year or so, especially the last six months, I am thinking that has changed, and for the good.  Of course I'm still all about details and task completion (HEL-LO!) but I am spending more and more time talking, listening, sometimes counseling, but generally just building relationships with other women. And I've found that I love love love getting real with each other - none of this fake surface-level relating for me, let's get down to what matters, right?  I think God is balancing my scales, in this arena at least, and it feels good!

Banner day!

What a great day.  I was up early, exercised even longer than I planned (when has THAT ever happened before?  I could stop right there!), vacuumed early (another almost-never ... I hate vacuuming), and worked a little via e-mail.  I ran my errands, including picking up a book I had on hold at the library - "Healing Water" by Nancy Rue and Stephen Arterburn.  This is the second book in the "Sullivan Crisp" series, and while I'm not far enough into this one yet to know for sure, the first one (Healing Stones) was absolutely terrific.  As much as I read, it takes something pretty special for me to recommend a book this highly! 

Anyway, my afternoon suddenly stretched out in front of me, so I grabbed up Lexi from school and we hung out.  I picked up her Easy Bake Oven from her house, and we set to work making sugar cookies.  The oven had to "preheat" for 15 minutes - I had no idea a lightbulb runs this thing.  Meanwhile Lexi mixed the batter - a packet of mix + 3/4 tsp of water.  That alone should tell you how little dough actually resulted.  We split it between the two pans, then cooked the first one.  For 10 minutes.  Then it had to cool in the "cooling bin" for 10 minutes.  Then we put the other one in.  And cooked for 10, then cooled for 10.  Do the math here, folks, it took 55 minutes to make TWO cookies.  They crumbled coming out of the pan, and were generally disgusting.  We cook together almost every time she comes over, and I'm thinking we'll go back to the old-fashioned way, which takes much less time and produces several dozen delicious cookies!  She actually lost interest as soon as the dough was mixed, so her attention was captured for approximately 2 of the 55 minutes.  So look out girl, we're back to reading recipes and learning fractions next time you're here!

Last weekend at a conference, I picked up a book called "The Princess and The Kiss."  It is a beautiful story of how God gave the princess' parents her first kiss to be held until she was grown up.  Then they pass it on to the princess, with the encouragement to save it for the man she will marry.  Many suitors come to her, but she saves the kiss and dismisses them all (for various good reasons), until she meets the farmer who loves her just for her and has saved his own kiss for her.  Needless to say, they share their kisses at the wedding and live happily ever after.  There is a companion book for boys, "The Squire and The Scroll," that I haven't seen but suspect is just as good.  It was a great way to dialogue with her, even at six years old, about how precious her kisses are and how important it is to save them.  (We did talk about the difference between the kiss in the story and the kisses she shares with mommy and daddy, etc.)  She re-told the story to Papa with surprising accuracy when he got home, so it seemed to make an impression on her.

Then we got her library books out of her backpack.  One of them was for her to read to me, and the other I read to her.  Hers was about a garden, and how some veggies and fruits grow above ground and some grow below the ground ... one page had a picture of a mole (and various other critters) burrowing around under the ground, and she said, "Did you know moles are nocturnal?"  I might have known that, I'm not really sure. 

We played Chinese Checkers, Uno, Go Fish, and Old Maid for a couple of hours.  She won some and lost some - remarkably, she's a very good loser!

Of course there were a couple of cartoons and some art thrown in for good measure.  I love the special bond I have with this child, different from the special bond I have with each of the other two - hard to explain but oh so true. 

And last but not least, we had chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner!  How's THAT for undoing the hard work on the treadmill this morning!

Baby steps

Nothing momentus going on ... just found this picture from the last time the kids were here and got a little pang from seeing how big the shoes and coats are getting, and the fact that Callie already has to have her own backpack.  I'm also amused by the way they line everything up so neatly on my stairs - OCD rules!!

How 'bout this chick?

Since we're talking "vintage" toys ... anyone else have this gal in their doll arsenal?  Being blessed with brothers instead of sisters, I spent more time playing Jane to their Johnny West than I ever did with Barbies.  Wish I still had this old girl ... the "boxed set" is selling on e-bay for $95.00!!

And if we're being honest, I probably didn't "play" with her any more than I had to - only when pressured beyond sanity by my brothers - I would always have preferred to be reading. What a dork!

My brother Chris and I were just talking about Johnny and Jane the other day - he and Mike recently found their Johnny West guys, but alas, Jane was absent, and all of Johnny's joints had dissolved so that when they tried to move the arms or legs they just fell off.  Very sad.

Clackers

Anybody besides me remember this thrilling yet lethal toy?  "Clackers are the toy with a jillion names. It was essentially two large marbles attached by a sturdy string with a ring in the center. You would put your finger in the ring allowing the marbles or balls to hang below. Here is where the fun starts. The idea was to get the two balls tapping (or clacking if you prefer) against each other by pulling up on the ring lightly. Once you got the hang of it, you could get them going faster and faster until they were smacking each other above and below your hand in a stunning arc." (http://www.bigredtoybox.com/)

Now, I have to say that while I coveted this toy, really really really wanted one, because of course all the cool kids had them, I could never really get the hang of it.  Definitely never figured out how to perfect the "stunning arc."  In fact, my most successful attempts resulted in the two balls actually swinging apart and then tapping back together (not missing each other like usual) in a slow, tick-tock, tick-tock fashion.

For MOST kids these things were easily turned into weapons.  While everyone was obviously safe from me, due to my stupendous lack of coordination, I dared not let my brothers get their hands on them!  Apparently they were pulled from the market in the 1970's due to shattered teeth, broken eye sockets, and the explosion of one or both of the balls when they "clacked" together too hard.  The explosion factor was the fate of Greg's Clackers, and anyone in his family, even if they don't remember it, could have predicted it!

And to think they wanted to recall those little hamster thingies that were so big this Christmas!  Goodness.

I just have to say ...

... that this getting old business is for the birds.  My poor back ... my twisted ankle ... my sore achilles tendon ... an elbow that can predict cold weather ... arthritis in my big toe and my thumb ... going to bed at 9:00 p.m. and waking up at 5:30 a.m. ... meds for high blood pressure ... yikes.  If this is what happens at 45, then what will ... well, LATER be like?

Then again, this getting old business means I have VERY productive mornings, which is good.  And those extra pounds, well, I just chalk them up to middle age.  And the empty nest, that's a pretty good deal, trust me.  I read a lot, and don't feel guilty.  I work a little, and don't feel guilty.  I eat too much, and I only feel a LITTLE guilty.

And of course (you had to know this was coming) tea parties, endless reading, board games, art projects galore, lego creations, hot wheels races, and all those other fun things that come with grandparenting.  Now that we know that our every decision won't ruin the child for life, it's WAY more fun!

So after all that whining, I'll keep the bad back, sore this 'n' that, arising before the dawn, and all that other stuff - as it turns out, the trade off is totally worth it!!

Scrapbooking update

So guess what?  In this 20-hour event, I managed to get about 12 recipes typed.  The rest of the time I wandered around talking, for the most part ... but it was fun and these ladies are incredible in their dedication to the sport and the creativity they have.  I'm a little jealous, even, but my good friend Jennifer made me feel better when she brought a book the second day!  Not a scrapbook, just a book to read.  LOL - thanks Jen!

Totally off topic, but I read/heard somewhere that you can print off your blog?  Is it as simple as hitting the print button at the top of the page or is there a better way?  I realized that I've been writing here since 2006 - so much history there, I'd love to have it as a "book."  Maybe that's my scrapbook replacement?  There.  I feel better already.

Time ...

It gets away from me.   I had the kids the last two Mondays, and oh the joy.  Mid-morning this Monday Callie came up and flung herself into my lap and laid her runny-nosed head right on my shoulder.  She stayed.  I let her.  Even though I knew it just meant she needed to go down for a nap, I pretended otherwise and just hung on to her sweet self for awhile.

Lexi is turning into quite the packrat.  She has a desk here now, ostensibly for her art supplies, but the top two drawers are filled with her 'really special things.'  She brings more every time she comes over - as of now they contain a random set of keys (anyone lost theirs?), several baby pictures that her mother probably doesn't even know are missing, a couple of marbles, a Coca-Cola badge, the cloth bag that contained some coffee B.J. brought back from Guatemala, a plastic bear, a random piece of green glittery wrapping paper, and her favorite book, "My Pretty Kitten," which is a baby book that she has memorized and could read herself anyway, but which we read before bed every time she spends the night.

I was talking to Mason and Lexi on speakerphone today, and Lexi was telling me about her pillow pet thing that she got for Christmas, and I reminded her that I was there on Christmas morning when she got it.  Mason:  "So were you the one who came down the chimney?"  Um, no.

I'm going to a scrapbooking event at the church this weekend with roughly 150 other women.  Don't laugh.  I know.  I'm hopeless at this sort of thing, and big crowds make my heart beat fast.  BUT I HAVE A PLAN!  I'm working on typing up all my often-used recipes, printing them, encasing them in plastic protectors, and putting them in a nifty new binder my friend Amy got me for Christmas.  And several friends will be there, so it is likely that I will do more talking than typing anyway.

I'm really loving my job.  Really.  I work with great people, and it feels like a really good fit.  Right now planning is in full swing for our April retreat, "Free to Be Me," about how to be content with how God made you and who He made you to be.  It's shaping up to be a pretty great weekend, if I do say so myself.  I get to teach Bible study on Thursday mornings, and I've been with the same group of gals since September going through the book "Boundaries."  It is dynamic, life-changing stuff, and very hard work.  These are my favorite two and a half hours of my week, I think.  We have traveled enough trails together to be real, and honest, and vulnerable, and authentic with each other, and that is a marvelous thing in a day and age where we hide behind our respective masks because of fear or shame or simply not feeling safe.

And hey, KU is playing some pretty darned good basketball these days, right?

Not much, how about you?

Well, there's just not much going on worth reporting. But I haven't posted in too many days, so I'll dredge my memory and see what I can find from the last week or so.

Cold. COLD COLD COLD! My cats won't stay off me, keep trying to creep under the blanket when I'm in my recliner, cold little feet parked on my legs. Lots of snowblowing, too ... not by me of course.

Fun sleepover with Lexi ... an interminably long game of Monopoly that ended when she got bored and started fooling around. Thank the stars! I was about to lose my mind.

Missed our Bible study on Thursday as it was cancelled due to weather. The break has been too long, ladies, don't you agree? Anxious to get back to it this week.

Determined to get back on the treadmill. Determination was made some time ago; actual follow-through started today.

Callie fell against the bathtub and split her lip - had to get three stitches, one of which she ripped out on the way home from the ER due to excessive screaming.

A dear friend became an overnight Mama ... sweet Sadie will be adopted into their already-family-of-seven, now eight, soon, Lord willing.

I am totally frustrated with my inability to keep my calendars synced between home and work. I think I need one of those phones that will do it for me, because double-booking and/or forgetting appointments is just not cool.

Brandon found a permanent residence, living with Dan (from the Race) and a number of other Christian guys. He sounds happy to be living in community again. And I suspect it will be very good for his heart.

What else? There is surely more; however, the Jayhawks are about to play, so I'm calling it a blog.